I read a great blog post called Casual Love
. She talks about how we load love with meaning and expectations instead of just experiencing the love. Been there, done that, and I have all the travel stamps.
We believe love is an object oriented response: we love because of the other person. And without that other, we will no longer love. Its just untrue. Love is all around is, as the line in the song goes. But mostly, love is in us. Because love is our nature. Most of our problems come from trying to deny that and blocking its flow.
The challenge becomes deciding what to do with the feeling. Relationships can be described as liking someone so much you want to be with the person, create with the person, and deepen all your expressions of self with that person. The nature and characteristics of relationships vary from person to person, relationship to relationship.
Where it becomes less about casual love is in knowing what experiences are fulfilling to you and are what you need or want in relationship. There is no one true love that will unlock everything.
If you want certain things in relationship and the other does not, the love doesn’t stop. Trying to stop the flow of energy only hurts you. But, maybe the liking does stop. It means you are unlike each other. It means that a core vibrational difference exists. It means your sense of spiritual separation may feel much bigger.
So we put space and distance there. The energy of separation (from source even though it feels like separation from other) is what is painful, and it doesn't feel good to feed that. Sometimes that distance is right, if there is awareness and love with it. The moving apart is not about the story of how he or she hurt you. Its about Bless and Release. Some people can do that with the other still in their lives. Some cannot. That doesn't matter.
What matters is continuing to explore and change the consciousness around the belief in separation. It is the fear of separation from Source. I have played with this question in death meditation, and its true for endings in general: What is the one truth you need to recognize or know that will make death/ending irrelevant?