In my work as an Intuitive Life Coach, I am surrounded everyday by clients who are earnestly seeking and actively going after the life-change, greater happiness, purpose and peace wanting to unfold from within their depths. As a seeker on an intuitive path of healing and growth, I am myself, conscious of pushing past my own limits in the name of continued personal development and self-actualisation.
As human beings, growth and change are natural healthy indicators of our innate wisdom and life-ward force within!
The resistance I am referring to in this article is that which can occur when it feels like an individual, who we previously considered a reliable, unchanging reference point in our lives, suddenly leaves us in the lurch. It is not uncommon for this to be our experience when the other person begins dreaming in a bigger way than before, wanting to spread their wings, exploring and expressing their true potential and seeking to meet their deepest most soul-level needs.
And it is safe to say that this kind of situation probably arises right across the spectrum of different types of relationships. For example, it can occur in friendships, marriages or romantic partnerships, between employers and employees, colleagues, teachers and students, between parent and child and between siblings as well.
The ruffling of feathers that can occur in response to the other person’s deep need to become more self-actualised, can spark within us a feeling of resistance – which in fact, is really an alternate form of fear.
We can find ourselves experiencing this kind of resistance for at least a couple different reasons.
When an individual we unconsciously assumed was a constant in our life begins to noticeably evolve, heal, grow and change, it can feel like we are losing our footing as our anchor of security and/or stability literally (and energetically!) begins slipping away. Our response if we feel we are losing hold of our metaphorical anchor is naturally one of resistance and fear.
Additionally, when this happens, we often simultaneously perceive a need for greater self-reliance which can also prompt us to doubt ourselves, question and resist the unknown and feel fear.
From this perspective, fear and resistance are two sides of the same coin. We fear and resist the inner and outer changes that we sense are in motion for that individual and how they will impact us and we fear and resist the inner and outer impulses and consciousness within ourselves that occur.
What is particularly interesting is that when someone close to us embarks upon a process of intense transformation and inner growth, it can also have an effect that is directly opposite to resistance and fear.
At certain points in our lives, we can actually find ourselves being inspired to grow with and alongside the momentum of another individual’s growth and change.
So if there is a person who has been a constant in your life, who you sense is beginning to spread their wings and looking in the direction of new adventure, bigger more exciting experiences and overall life-change, it can be immensely valuable to recognise what this awareness is highlighting for and within yourself.
To recap, this can be one of the two following experiences;
It is so vitally important to accept whatever your experience is, in order that you can consciously have and benefit from it.
If you find yourself going into a response of resistance and fear, realise that your intuition and ability to confidently, consciously engage life is actually shutting down. Conversely, if you find yourself feeling inspired and free to go after new learning experiences, your intuitive senses and engagement of life becomes sharpened and honed.
And there are a couple of other points worth noting too.
The first is that if you consciously notice yourself slipping into resistance/fear, realise that you are also in the best possible position to explore precisely why. Therein lies the potential to free yourself from the related limiting belief about your fullest potential and who you REALLY ARE.
The second is that your spiritual purpose and path has its own timing and pace. Sometimes your resistance and fear, rather than being a surface emotion is actually an indicator of a much deeper rooted energy/held belief/emotive mechanism at work in your body/mind space. If this is the case, is it important to be gentle, patient and aware that healing and resolution simply takes as long as it takes and to let yourself off the hook for needing to do or be anything different to whatever comes naturally for you at the time.
Consider that the resistance and fear you feel might actually be indicating a necessary, mutually beneficial point of departure from your relationship with the individual who has triggered these feelings for you.
Your awareness of yourself at this time is most important because without it, it becomes easy to inadvertently resent and/or punish the other person for initiating for you an unexpected opportunity for self-examination and personal growth. And in punishing the other person for wanting to go after their fullest potential and exciting life-change, you wind up punishing and holding yourself back from the same.
The more self-awareness you possess, the easier it becomes for you to gracefully release and bless the other person.
By allowing them to have their self-actualisation process, you gain a deeper understanding of your ultimate responsibility for your happiness as you more consciously begin to embrace your own.