When we hear the words self love, most of us automatically think the self love that has been fed to us by celebrities. The cars, the mansion and the luscious lifestyle that looks so great to live! While this kind of Self Love is true for many, I am here to offer you another version of self love that is simple and grounded. To be love and give love to everyone, by putting ourselves first.

Lets break it down here to truly understand what self love really means. Firstly, the term, “If you don’t love yourself first, you won’t be able to love others” is true. Let’s say self love is a cup. The cup is empty (when you work so hard you don’t have time for you) for you to love yourself. When you feel crummy, everything else will feel crummy and the world responds to that crumminess you may feel from being exhausted.

Okay so first word is SELF. On a worldly level: The word self means ego, identity, persona and a false sense of self, that’s the first aspect of ego we know of. Many people think that self love is feeding this identity that is false, like having cookies is self love for the over-weight food-aholic, or sex may be the self loving act for a sex-aholic. In fact, this type of “self-love” is false.

The truer aspect of self (in the word self love) is the self in which is connected to your soul, your self, your soul self, your psyche, your heart of hearts. Real self love is loving the purest parts of you, your soul, your true self by nurturing that part of yourself.

Being kind and loving to yourself can mean many different things. This may mean for you to take some time out of work, to get clear on your finances, to get help on a situation that keeps occurring in your life. This type of self love is not only the Kanye West kind where that kind of self love hints in you thinking you are better than everybody which is not such a reliable source of self love in the long run.

The self love I speak for is the kind of self love that is simple and shows you that you love you, precisely as you are.

For example:

Perhaps you have been putting yourself through a lot of work, not being mindful of the excessive amount of time you work versus the time you give to yourself to enjoy life, to enjoy yourself. Being a workaholic becomes an addiction and not a self loving action in many instances. The high of wanting to work and working long hours does not let you see yourself enjoying life, to see yourself free.


1. Don’t forget about you. DO something nice for yourself. Something that you actually enjoy doing or getting for yourself. Love water? Go near a lake or river. Love nature? Go for a hike!

2. Make a list of good intentioned things that you have done for others and yourself. Rejoice in the memories of being in that space of giving love to someone and in return receiving love, in a natural way.

3. Wish for yourself these enduring phrases.
May I live at ease.
May I have mental peace.
May I be free to be who I truly am.

4. Allow yourself to be honest with yourself about what you need for yourself.
Perhaps what you would like to do is go to nature and connect to your own soul, perhaps it’s about taking some time out every morning for meditation.

5. Notice where you are and what you need to do to take action and raise your vibration.

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