"Self love is the greatest gift that you can give yourself" - Sparklingbows

I think a lot of the time people spend a lot of their time looking for love outside of themselves, not realizing that the greatest love of all is within us all.  In order to experience that love we must look within; do things that make our hearts sing and make us feel inherently good about ourselves.  It doesn't have to cost money it could be as simple as listening to music, dancing a little crazy in front of your mirror......  Whatever it is doesn't matter so long as you feel good about yourself.

Although, as I discovered a few nights ago that isn't always enough.  I was having a meal and a few drinks with a friend.  Now this girl is petite, with long blonde hair, wears lots of brand labelled clothes, has a professional career and is dating a new guy every single week.  From the outside it all shimmers like sparkly diamonds but, on the inside as I found out, it's dark.  Basically she had a major tantrum because a group of guys were looking at me and not her!  She launched into this rant about how she needs surgery, how she is insignificant in my presence and how she uses sex to get guys to like her.  Her closing words were the admittance that she was jealous of me because I am everything that she would never be.

I was fuming about it all and told her that she needed to get a grip, stop sleeping around and take a break from guys to work on her self esteem.  I even suggested that she seek professional help to talk through her issues.

However, when I stepped back from the situation I realized just how sad it must be to feel unlovable, to believe that you are ugly and to feel jealousy toward someone who is meant to be your friend.  It made me recognize how important it is to love yourself first and to recognize that the greatest love you will ever really receive is the love that you have for yourself.  We spend so much time looking for love outside ourselves, I am as guilty of this as anybody else.  But the difference is that some of us are able to snap out of it, recognizing that we must love ourselves first.

It also made me think back to the times when I would socialize with girls who felt like my friend does.  I remember how, when they got p****d they would turn to me and rant about how slim, pretty, well dressed I am and how fat and ugly they were.  Being young, I shrugged it off as much as I could but actually now I have hit my 30s I really can't be bothered to deal with all that.  I don't have those kind of self esteem issues and as much as I can try and reason with my friend; explain that she is pretty, that it doesn't matter that every guy doesn't fancy her....etc.... It's up to her to find the love for herself and within herself.  Until she does that her history with men will always repeat itself and I will always be the target of her venom when she's had few too many.

I guess the moral is that there is no greater love than the love that you give, feel and have for yourself.  What they say about the fact that if you cannot love yourself how can you expect someone else to love you is also very true.

If you look you will find that the greatest love of all was inside of you all the time.  It was just waiting for you to notice it.

Love, light & sparkles.


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Comment by Annalisa Corti on August 12, 2012 at 3:30pm

I totally agree with the message that it all begins with loving ourselves, or the Divinity within us, in order to exude love and eventually love others. People with self esteem issues, in my experience, have often suffered a scarcity of love in their childhood and spend their entire lives trying to fill that void, though often they are not conscious of it. I hope your friend seeks a gentle soul to help her heal her wounds. Thank you for sharing the story :)

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