Shifting into 2014 Green Wood Horse- NEW YEAR RESOLUTION: Want vs Needs (Part 2) by Kathleen O'Kefe-Kanavos

In part one of this blog we discussed New Year Resolutions, the Chinese New Year and wants vs needs that are tied into the shift of consciousness taking place in the world.  

Now is the dawning of a new year with a shift toward consciousness and self-awareness. Are you ready to make the shift into personal responsibility?

My first New Year resolution will be to allow myself to love, embrace, and always put myself first. I give myself permission to be number one in my life.

How can you possibly share with others if you are empty? We want to be embraced by others but need to love ourselves first.

During chemotherapy, my psychotherapist armed me with a powerful mantra to help survive the uncertainty of treatment. “You are number one. No one and nothing is more important than you.” She was right. Years later, as a cancer hotline phone counselor and mentor, that mantra is still important. If charity begins at home, and home is where the heart is, then an empty heart cannot give anything to anyone else.  

The importance of this mantra was even more evident during my Stitch-n-Bitch (as we liked to call ourselves) radiation therapy group. It was heartbreaking to see the care-giver suddenly discarded when their circumstances shifted, and they needed family care. These women felt that without family love and devotion they were useless. Their chances for recovery were challenged by their depression and feelings of emotional emptiness. Our little group spent hours discussing wants versus needs. We want a beautiful house, but we only need shelter. We want to eat in fancy restaurants, but we only need nutritious food. We want others to love us, but we need to love ourselves.

The list of wants versus needs is endless. Realizing the difference between them may be the first step in avoiding emotional and financial bankruptcy.

Now, when you see something enticing,  ask yourself, “Do I need that, or just want it?”  

In 2014, focus on inner-balance by being kind, and forgiving to yourself. Seek out and join a community “sister-hood of women” who can be your support system. Their strength will keep you from feeling alone during times of despair, and their resources will help you meet the needs of your family and friends. When your body is fatigued- rest. When your soul is tired- meditate, and give thanks for all that you have.

Join me as I surround myself with things I love; my husband, friends, pets, plants, music, and fragrant candles while taking a warm bubble bath. While you care for your body, your soul will soar.  

Like the Chinese yin and yang, which are seemingly opposing forces bound together, intertwined, and interdependent in the natural world, we are complex creatures comprised of body and spirit. These two diabolically different parts must be in balance as a duality for complete health of body and mind. Like yin and yang, male and female, body and soul are a dynamic equilibrium. If one disappears, the other must disappear as well, leaving emptiness.

Too many of us have lost a part of ourselves and are experiencing an emptiness of being. The two faced mythical King Janus, patron of the new year, had two faces for an important reason; one to see the past and one to see the future. Although we too can also look in both directions, we tend to focus and judge ourselves by past events that cannot be changed.

It’s time to face forward into a new year of balance comprised of yin and yang, old and new, need and want. You can learn from your past to build a positive future. The good news is that a sisterhood of women is only a phone call, blog, website, magazine or tweet away to help refill you with the love you deserve and NEED.

Balance yourself. Know you needs. Embrace the new shift taking place in the new-year.

Take care of your soul and it will take care of you . . . then you can take care of the wants of others.

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