Soul Connections and the Art of Detachment. 6 Steps of Engaging with a Soul Connection

Many times, we cross paths with another soul feeling a strong connection. We recognize them instantly, and yet despite the desire to reunite, we must realize our soul journey is different. Our goal is to learn the lessons of those who cross our path, why their presence triggers us and how we can evolve with or without them. Once these lessons are learned, any karma attached is released and our soul is free to expand and meet new mates.

There are times in life another person seems so familiar. We are sure we met before. There is something in their expressions, their movements that ring so recognizable. They trigger something deep within us – desire, joy, fear or even loathing.

We could know this person personally, they could be a casual acquaintance, or even someone we admire from afar. It’s not their physical chemistry that excites and incites us, it is something far more intimate – our spirit.

These strong emotions elicit feelings of attachment so strong we consider them to be a fated romantic partner, or even the “one.” We may even grow angry and frustrated if they don’t return our affection. How can they not see us, feel us when we are a soul mate?

Whether we are the perceiver of a soul connection, or the recipient of another’s insight it is the understanding we own our own soul journey and this cannot be displaced on others. The paradox of soul connections is to sense the connection, and yet we must be detached from it at the same time.
How is that even possible? If we are all connected and we feel a connection to another, how and why do we need to detach. For this single simple reason: Despite our connectivity, our journey is ours alone. We are connected, yet on individual journeys.

Recognizing a Connection

As mentioned, this awareness is subtle – a look in their eyes, an expression or reaction. Perhaps we are turned on or turned off by another’s “energy”. We grow nervous when they are around or we feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, we are triggered – emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. These connections can change the course of our lives, and yet it can be heartbreaking and gut-wrenching when our soul connections are unrequited. It just seems impossible when we feel a strong connection, and they do not feel us.

Responsibility for our Own Soul.

Our attraction to another soul is our own soul journey, not theirs. Just because we may be triggered by another, doesn’t mean we are part of their journey. Ugh! This can feel so painful, brutal in heartbreak, and yet there is a beautiful wisdom to this. We can simply love them for the messages they bring forth and the path for which they guide us.

For example: We can meet a person and feel so connected. Wow, we have so much in common. We just met and already finishing each other’s sentences. There is an excitable energy we share, and yet soon we find out there is another lover in the picture. How can it be? Why is the universe so cruel to introduce us to another we can’t have? Perhaps the meeting is to encourage more adventure in one’s life and to expand our horizons. This excited exchange is not meant for a fated relationship, but to set our personal life back on course. We would change our direction if we crossed paths with those who didn’t excite?

Connections with Those We Never Met

At times we have a sense of connection with someone we never met – a stranger on the train, a clerk at the coffee shop, even on television or the movies. It happens. If only we can meet in person, they would feel our connection and understand our fated union. Crazy it may sound but many of have had these feelings.

In these instances, we may want to count our blessings there is no physical relationship. The gift is to be triggered by their presence, learn the lessons their soul has to offer and not have to deal with them personally. The soul has its wisdom who it brings in and out of our lives, and it may be to our benefit that we never meet them in person.

Accept the Connection

A person crosses our path for whom we feel deeply connection. Sometimes the meeting is mutual. Two souls meet, because both souls need to alter course, need a light to shine in their path – two sparks of light in the dark. We are simply holding the candle for one another and we move on.
However, often the other may not have any clue to our connection to them, and nor do they care. They are on a journey completely separate from ours, and yet we need to see something within them. They are our beacon, and yet we are to not dock in their harbor, just pass by.

Understand Triggers

It is never the other person. Never. It is what they trigger in us which counts to our own healing and path. If we find ourselves so attracted and possibly attached, the goal is to find out why. What clues are they carrying that are the keys to unlock our own mysteries?

Do we have feelings of immense joy and love when we see them? Do we feel self-doubt and loathing? Do they bring up sensations of fear and dread? We learn about ourselves, by how we feel about others.
This is part of our soul work, learning from others. This requires introspection and not displacement. We are not to try to analyze them but ourselves.

Liberate our Connections


Soul connections are of the spirit not of the body. Sometimes, we need to repeat this to ourselves over and over until it sinks in until it becomes a mantra. Being attracted to another soul does not indicate a physical reunion.

Releasing our soul connections is the best thing we can do for our soul, because once we learn the lesson of a connection, the karma is healed. There is no reason to hold on. We are free. They are free with the faith the soul connection will always be there, we are just not tethered to it any more. We can love unconditionally without feelings of attachment.

There is this modern romantic notion that our goal is to reunite with past lovers and soul mates. Who doesn’t love a good soul mate (and perhaps our lesson is to reunite but not always the case). The expansion of our soul is to create more mates…more experiences and more love. We expand ourselves through the cosmos and creation. If we keep returning to those we shared past lives, our souls are stuck in circular motion never growing and never progressing. Our soul’s goal is to get out of the rotation to move forward.

Jennifer Ott is the author of many novels – fiction and non-fiction. Her latest WIP, Arise My Tribe is the story of a past life ancient Celtic healer who weaves her tale through that of a modern woman going through a crisis of the heart. Jennifer’s first entry into the spirituality was the study of Nada Yoga. Since then she has studied a multitude of meditation styles, spiritual philosophies and multi-cultural shamanic ceremonies. This holistic practice of spirituality aided greatly into the journey of soul discovery to realize the burden of past life karmas.

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