Self esteem is not a hot and sexy topic. Not even close. Most people don’t like to talk about their self esteem in front of others. But this is a topic we should all be passionate about. Self esteem is defined as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. We can see how prevalent low self esteem is by taking a good look at our culture today. And unfortunately healthy esteem is not taught in schools or by many parents at home. But there is a lot we can do to change that. Once we become comfortable in our skin, our self esteem can soar. We can go from having all the characteristics of low self esteem, to someone who is confident and secure. We just need to learn how. Increased self esteem can change our lives in ways we can never imagine. Our relationships improve, our opportunities multiply and our joy and inner peace grow. It's time we pay attention to our inner selves, so let’s get started.
The 5 Quickest Ways To Recognize Your Worth.
This does take a bit of practice, but once we implement these strategies, we will instantly begin to notice changes in our life.
1. Accept thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they are. Do not judge them, they are neutral and do not define who we are. They are fleeting in nature and can also be changed. For example; experiencing pain in our body does not mean we are weak. It is just a sensation and we do not have to give it meaning. Or thinking “I wish I was more like ______” does not mean we are not good enough. It is just a thought, and thoughts can be observed and released.
2. Eliminate “should” from our vocabulary. “Should" comes from a place of judgement. Examine our beliefs, especially around our “should’s.” Question them. What happens when we turn our “should’s” into “could’s?” Does it open up other options or encourage less judgement? For example; “I should be doing more” is a thought that encourages guilt. “I could be doing more” encourages us to think of the various different things we could do, without judgement. “I could” also illustrates that there are many options for us, we don’t have to adhere to one path.
3. Do not rely on other people to give us our sense of worth. They will inevitably disappoint. No label, position, or relationship can give us worth. They are external things. For example; if we rely on our spouse/partner to show us that we are important, then we have given our power to them We will always need something from them in order to feel good enough. And there will be times when they can’t or won’t give us the assurance we need. This is when we suffer. If we can rely on ourselves for that acceptance, then we are left to simply enjoy the praises from our loved ones, not rely on them. Positive affirmations, meditation, observing our thoughts and questioning our beliefs are all ways to foster our self reliance and worth.
4. Forgive. We need to forgive ourselves for our past wrong doings. Shame, regret, and guilt sabotage our self esteem and worth. We often find it easier to forgive others, but we must apply this compassion to ourselves as well.
5. Take stock of our talents. Everybody has a gift or calling in this world. In fact, each of us have many different abilities that help others. We must identify these. If we are unsure of what these abilities are, start small. What small things are we good at? Enjoy? In what ways do we make other people’s life better? Celebrate these, they are the very things that make us feel worthy.
These five strategies are simple, however, following them will take mindfulness and perseverance. All our efforts will be worth it when we start to live with inner calm and contentment on a daily basis. This new found self worth will show up in our relationships, career, and new opportunities and people that we will attract. Remember, like attracts like. A healthy and secure individual will attract other healthy and confident individuals. A word of warning for those working on their self esteems. People in our life who have low self esteem will begin to take notice. They may become threatened and uncomfortable with our progress towards self acceptance. It is important that we do not let this bring us down. Be mindful of people who are unsupportive or think we are becoming full of ourselves. There is a big difference between arrogance and healthy self esteem. We can be a shining example to them by revealing what healthy self esteem looks like. They can see the positive effects it has in all areas of life. Remember, high self esteem means being comfortable with who we are, quirks and faults included. It recognizes our abilities and strengths, and knows the value and worth they provide in this world. It is very common to experience backlash from others when we make big strides in our personal growth, especially in co-dependent relationships. We must be prepared to cut loose the people that do not support us in emotional growth. If it’s not appropriate to end the relationship, we can hold awareness of our personal issues versus their’s. Some people may in fact be supportive and encouraging, and use our growth as inspiration for their own. These are the people we want to keep close.
Nicole Taffs is a writer who blogs about turning sensitivities into assets for TheSensitiveLife.ca. After struggling as a highly sensitive empath, she began her journey towards self acceptance, developing new beliefs, and turning her sensitivities into gifts that serve others and well as herself. Nicole is also certified in holistic nutrition, reflexology and reiki. She gets most excited about travelling near bodies of water, camping, spending time with her family and spooning her dog in bed. Facebook-www.facebook.com/thesensitivelifeca Twitter www.twitter.com/nicoletaffs12