As the leaves begin turning colors, from their vibrant green of Spring, to their faded green of Summer, to their yellows and oranges of Autumn, to dying and falling to prepare for Winter, I’m reminded that the only constant in life is change. The Seasons are a stunning example from nature that everything is a cycle and that there is a different and unique beauty that lies in each transitional period. Energetically, we are in a time of extreme change. If we take pause to analyze from where we came and to where we wish to go, it can give us clarity in the difficulty that comes with the turmoil and seeming chaos surrounding major change. There’s no better way to do this than to look at our relationships, as they can both be a source of our greatest joy and the source of our greatest pain. Relationships are in a constant state of flux, whether they are relationships with our children, family, friends or our chosen romantic partner. Difficulty, conflicts and tension arise as a way for us to be able to resolve deeper issues.
As an example, I have a twelve year old son that is extremely sensitive and temperamental. It is a part of his gift of compassion… to be able to feel so deeply. It is, however, difficult for him to deal with and for me, as his mother, to watch him suffer through. As I was growing up, I was much the same. My Father, being from another country with certain cultural expectations that come with certain roles, found it very difficult to understand my emotional sensitivity. So, he chose to push away what made him feel uncomfortable and would scold me for being so sensitive. Not feeling able to express those emotions caused me to make a choice to remove them from me altogether at a young age. It took me many years to feel safe in feeling and expressing those emotions I’d locked away for so long. Having a son with the same struggles has brought up for me both the pain I carried of not being understood and accepted, as well as an understanding of the difficulty that comes with have a hyper-emotional child. It has been an opportunity to both heal my own pain and make different choices than my father had and encourage my son to express his feelings and emotions without falling prey to them.
It is through difficulty that the greatest growth opportunities arise. When everything around us seems to be turning to chaos and falling apart, it is always prudent to ask ourselves some important questions. What is it that we are meant to learn from those situations? And, do we keep running into the same issues because there is something deeper that is begging to be seen and acknowledged. In such a fast-paced world, we forget sometimes to stop for a moment and think about what it is that we enjoy in life and what it is that we’d like to change. Much of the chaos we experience in life have to do with relationships… with co-workers, clients, loved ones, etc. By analyzing these associations, we can move forward in life with clarity leading also to our healing and achieving greater balance. It also gives us the ability to direct our change in the way in which we’d like it to go. So, if we view everything, whether seemingly good or bad, as a learning experience, we will find understanding, peace, healing and growth through even the toughest of times.