The world is full of people comparing themselves to other people. We are surrounded by imagery that tells us that in order to be successful, or pretty, or popular, we need to look, act, and dress a certain way. This mentality filters into all areas of life, and spans from our conscious thought all the way to the deepest areas of our minds.
This is a terrible place for the world to be in, because when people compare themselves to others – especially when those other people aren’t always real, but simply figments of an advertiser’s imagination – massive spiritual and emotional damage is wrought.
This may sound strange, and some people may actually think that it’s counterintuitive. They think that by comparing themselves to other people that they are actually setting up a model for themselves that they can aspire to be more like. But generally the opposite happens. More often than not, people end up just putting themselves down and stressing themselves out.
Now, I do want to say that there are times that striving to emulate someone else is not a bad thing. For example, if there is someone that we really look up to, or who leads a life that we would really like to have, or who has the career that we want, then there’s nothing wrong with taking cues from their life. There is nothing wrong with trying to better oneself and one’s life.
The danger comes in when the nit-picking comparing starts - as in, I’m not as pretty as they are, I’m not as fit as they are, I’m not as well-spoken as they are, etc. When a person starts to do this, they are in essence saying “I’m not as good as them, and I wish I was.”
There are a lot of things wrong with this. The first problem is that most people who go through this assume that they are somehow not as worthy as the person that they are comparing themselves to. The second problem is that this really does often lead to wishing, and wishing without action will never create change.
But the biggest problem that comes from comparing ourselves to others is that, in a sense, we can actually begin to unmake ourselves! It’s like the scene out of “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” series where Lucy was so focused on wishing she was beautiful like her sister Susan that she basically imagined herself out of existence. So many of us do that every day, and we don’t realize it.
We can spend so much time comparing ourselves to people who we think are better than us, and dreaming about what life would like if we were them, that we can actually forget to live our own lives.
What we need to do instead, is to figure out what we want in life, and strive for it. As was mentioned earlier, there’s nothing wrong with creating goals based on people who we look up to. But instead of just focusing on the things that they have that we feel that we lack, we ought to take that time to figure out how we can achieve those things.
If the person in question is regarded as an expert in a certain niche, then the best thing to do is figure out how they got there, and start down that road. If they are fit, or have great fashion sense, or whatever it is that causes us to want to compare ourselves to them, we should realize two things . . .
1. There is a very good chance that it’s silly, and not worth spending time, energy, and stress on.
2. It is almost certain that with a little time and effort, any of us could have the same things that they have.
But the most important part is to make sure that even if we are trying to achieve the same things that someone else does or has, that we are doing it in a fashion that pays homage to our unique selves. We were each put here to play out a very important Life’s Path, and we need to do it in our own way.
So what we need to do now is to look around, and figure out what we really want, as well as how we’re going to achieve it. And the next time that any one of us starts comparing our life to someone else, we need to stop, and remind ourselves that we are each a unique, important part of the plan for this world, and that the most important thing we can do each day is to honor that.
Lindsey Rainwater is a Life Coach and intuitive who specializes in connecting people with their angels, as well as helping them find their Life Purpose. She works with individuals from all walks of life, and helps people transform themselves into the best they can be. You can find her on Facebook, Google+, or go to LindseyRainwater.com.