It is a myth that everyone is supposed to meet a ‘soulmate’ in this lifetime. Don’t get me wrong, soulmate connections do exist, but in my work I have found this phenomenon to be quite rare. It is a singular spiritual anomaly that is certainly not predestined for most of us.

In a world where intimate relationships have become extremely challenging to navigate, the search for the ever-elusive soulmate has become a contemporary obsession. We have co-created a modern society where detachment, loneliness and disconnection reigns supreme, despite our easy access to social media and communication technology.

Against this background, the manic hunt for the ‘love of our life’ has become one of our generation’s most profoundly tragic acts of free will. In my view, the most disturbing aspect of this ‘wild goose chase’ is the fact that it is so often encouraged, or even set into motion, by well-meaning psychic advisors and relationship coaches! In my career I have had to help pick up the pieces of a broken heart, or a destroyed life, too many times.

A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace ~ Thomas Moore

So many times have I dealt with the tragic aftermath of false expectations someone else has created for one of my clients, often with a sweeping statement like, “Oh, yes dear, he definitely and absolutely is your soulmate!" The most memorable case, which will probably haunt me for the rest of my life, was the desperate, broken woman who cried like a lost, little girl. She was begging me to help her reverse the damage she had done to her 30 year marriage... as if I could somehow turn back time. “Please Anthon,” she sobbed, “tell me what to do. I will give anything to just have my old life back!” But there was nothing to be done.


Her previously devoted, long-suffering husband had finally given up, and he had since moved on to a dream home, a beautiful young wife and a brand new life, while she had become practically homeless, trapped in a dysfunctional relationship with an abusive drunkard, and surviving on the meager income she earned as a newcomer to the job market… at the age of 48. All because of a charming, catfish Don Juan whom she met online; a so-called ’soulmate’ who in reality was never meant to be.


Look, I do not claim to be privy to all the answers to the mysteries of the universe. By no means. All I know is what I know, based on my own spiritual insights and metaphysical experiences, as well as the psychic work I have been doing with people all over the world for the past 13 years. And based on my first-hand experiences as a professional psychic medium and destiny coach, soulmate relationships are in truth few and far between. In fact, they seldom come up in destiny readings, because it is simply not an automatic or mandatory part of everyone’s life plan. So-called “soulmate contracts,” when they are actually built into a person’s original life plan, always serve a higher spiritual purpose. These soulmate connections reach far beyond mere human companionship, partnership, or procreation.


Spiritual ‘power couples’ are destined to come together in their lifetime to jointly fulfill their life calling, and to contribute to the greater good. Famous examples of such predetermined soul agreements include the radiology pioneers ; spiritual altruists ; interracial marriage activists ; sexual revolutionaries ; artists ; same-sex union advocates ; and metaphysical teachers . ​These couples were absolutely meant to cross paths in their lifetime. Their coming together was planned and agreed upon before they arrived on the planet. Their union was an integral part of their shared destiny to shift humanity, change history, and help make the world a better place.

You have half our gifts. I the other. Together we make a whole. Together we are much more powerful ~ Joss Stirling

In contrast, most relationships experienced by most people throughout their lifetime, are merely romantic entanglements they create and attract for themselves as powerful creators of their own reality experience. This manifesting process often begins at a very young age. Have you ever carefully observed little girls playing nuptials with Barbie and Ken?


For this reason it is so important that awakened parents teach their children spiritually sound values and expectations when it comes to relationships, sex, love and marriage… instead of youngsters basing their intention for a future partner on popular culture, misogynistic fairy-tales, or the dubious role-models provided by the mainstream entertainment media. Is it any wonder that one in every two marriages end in divorce nowadays? The truth is miserably, and it is often a matter of “careful what you wish for!”


We are therefore not all destined to achieve groundbreaking scientific, charitable, humanitarian or spiritual advancement with our . This does not mean we are somehow spiritually inferior or unworthy. No, it simply means that each of us has a unique calling and singular spiritual mission in this lifetime. Sure, for some their life purpose may require the mutual support and inspiration of a significant other with a similar, or related life purpose. In these cases the two partners actually do ‘complete each other’ in a far-reaching manner beneficial to their joint life’s mission.

But for the rest of us, the ‘love of our life’ is usually just a travel companion; a fellow-adventurer whom we have manifested in order to make this human joyride all the more educational and exhilarating. And some of us even intended to travel alone, without the distraction of a co-pilot.

Soulmates tend to find each other during their respective pursuits of their soul missions. Creating a soulmate could be seen as a spiritual reward that we give ourselves, after pursuing many soul contracts rife with discord ~ Linda Brady

So, how do you know if a soulmate partnership is a part of your life plan? One can access this kind of esoteric insight through various forms of spiritual practice, including meditation, prayer, , channeling, divination, past life regression, akashic record retrieval, and shamanic journeying. But, truth be told, if a soulmate partnership is really meant to be for you, you will probably know it by now, especially if you are spiritually aware and have a robust, clear connection with your inner guidance system. In this instance, your constant yearning for a life partner or ’soulmate’ will not spring purely from a personal or selfish romantic need. Instead it will mostly emanate from a deep, altruistic desire to touch the lives of others, or to make a real difference in this world, by combining your efforts with that of another.


This awareness often makes itself known to us in our childhood. You will know early on that the ultimate fulfillment of your life calling will require the addition of certain traits or qualities you may be lacking, which can only be brought to the table by the complimentary cooperation of another soul. You will most likely find it impossible to imagine yourself completing your spiritual mission successfully, without that special ‘partner-in-crime’ by your side. You will have an innate knowing that you need that someone extraordinary to share your vision and join you in getting your hands dirty!


Now, if a soulmate is not in the cards for all of us, then why do we sometimes experience such a profound connection with someone whom we feel simply must be “The One?” Well, some of that “special feeling” has a lot to do with our state of mind at the time, or our emotional well-being, while some of it is often nothing more than the ! However, metaphysically speaking it is also to be expected that when the potential partner we have been creating and attracting deliberately (or unconsciously) finally manifests in our life… the person standing in front us may feel very familiar, for example, or somehow extremely noteworthy.

The powerful proximity of their energy will resonate very strongly with the radio signal of desire we have been sending out for so long. “Hey, there you are, finally!” we might exclaim, “I have been looking for you everywhere, what took you so long?” In some cases, however, this special reverberation with a love interest may be short-lived. Yes, that man you thought might be ‘The One’ sometimes does disappear in a disappointing puff of pink smoke! Or the woman who ’stole your heart’ sometimes turns out to be not whom you had hoped for.


Why? Well, it is certainly not because you made a foolish mistake, but simply because that person was another signpost or stepping stone along the way to finding the love of your life. They entered your reality experience to teach you more about yourself, or to affirm your progress, or to question your choices, or to expand your desires and show you more of what you really want. Or sometimes the right one does actually show up, exactly as requested, but we are simply too blind at the time to see them through the eyes of love, instead of through our favorite lenses of judgment.


Meeting your predestined soulmate is typically fairly easy to achieve, since it is mostly beyond your control. They usually just show up at the right time. All that really needs to be done, while we await their arrival, is to focus on our own spiritual development, or even begin the work without them. Similarly, attracting a romantic life partner is often just as simple to do, but certainly not always equally successful, because the creation process often happens unconsciously. Many people leave it up to ‘fate’ and then have to endure several trial runs and test drives before they finally figure it out, if at all.


Deliberately , on the other hand, is a much better way to go! Consciously using the Law of Attraction is a far more effective metaphysical process, but it is also more challenging. It is certainly not for the weak at heart… and the higher your standards, the longer it takes. Patience and courage are essential. Sometimes several ‘prototype partners’ may show up along the way to help the process along, or to keep you on track.


All the lovers you encounter in your life will always show up for a reason, a season… or a lifetime. Whatever their purpose may be, there somehow always is method in the madness. And when you meet them, all of them will most likely offer a highly resonant vibrational match to the vision you hold for your future love match. Whoever resonates with you at the time, do not ignore them. Embrace their presence in your life. They have shown up because they were meant to. Go with the flow, follow the signs, learn the lessons, and give them a chance. But, never automatically assume that your connection with this person ‘feels so right’ because you have finally found your soulmate.


© 2016 Anthon St. Maarten




Anthon St. Maarten is an international psychic medium and destiny coach with clients in more than thirty countries spanning five continents. He is also a metaphysics teacher and podcaster, spiritual blogger and author with a special interest in new thought spirituality, metaphysics, sacred sites, parapsychology, mediumship and psychic phenomena. Anthon is a hereditary psychic medium in practice since 2004 and his services are available by phone or video conferencing. For more information visit

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