The Evolution of Our Self-Identity or Chrysalis of Change

The Evolution of Our Self-Identity or Chrysalis of Change

By Judi Lynch

Word count – 690

Bio word count - 60

We are often reminded to love ourselves before we can love others. This is not always so easy for those who might not remember how to define themselves beyond outside perceptions, judgments and opinions. In a society distracted by filter enhanced selfies, oversharing of personal information and public shaming we can lose the very heart of who we really are. Our identity is ever changing as we mature and grow. A picture might be worth a thousand words but it can also hide the truth in a soul.

Our beauty lives inside our beings with countless emotions and life lessons. It lives in every heartbreak, moment of joy, defeat or sorrow we have ever experienced since the day we were born. Our identity is wrapped up in memories shared with others and dreams of what we can become. How we see ourselves as a soul is beyond how we look, dress and act, it helps define our courage and strength when life gets really real. When someone or something comes along and we feel unfairly attacked or judged, it is an opportunity to take notice of our feelings. Is it true, is it fair, and is it right? Are we being too sensitive? We have to ask ourselves if this situation can be changed for the good of everyone involved and if so we take the steps we need to evolve it. Emotional abuse has caused so many to lose their will in life when their loving contributions would have benefited humanity. Rising above and reclaiming our right to heal, learn and live a happy life are possible if we take control of our own identity.

A sensitive child can be hurt by older siblings and classmates who tease, bully and aggravate making them feel vulnerable and weak. It can take decades of living and counseling to understand we have a role in defining our self-worth and our purpose in the world. No one has the right to tell us who and what we are, how to become our best self. Competition, greed, jealousy and power can overshadow hard work, accomplishment and the will to thrive when we feel less than who we really are.

There is a popular meme going around that says, “Your opinion of me does not define me.” Yet there are thousands of posts of pouty lips and sexy outfits online just begging for likes and loves. The messages can be contradictory and confusing. Are we liking the person or the outfit? The hair or the hairstyle? The creativity of the make-up or the beauty of natural? We all have different preferences. We are all like puzzle pieces that were meant to fit and work together in our own styles.

If we seek out others who are supportive, understanding and like-minded we become more able to grow into our purposes here. We are able to witness examples of behavior, lifestyle and community that appeal to us but also help us keep our uniqueness to each other. As they say, it takes all kinds of people to make the Earth a better place. If we can learn acceptance and tolerance plus polish the skills of curiosity we welcome new ideas, art, technology and people into our lives with confidence instead of skepticism and competition. We can seek out the freedom to celebrate our own brand of specialness.

This world has incredible cultures, history and beauty to explore. There are so many possibilities and scenarios that can play out in life, our goals can be limitless if we let them. Taking control of our destiny means remaining in charge of our personal decisions as much as possible. Defining our lives becomes more possible when we feel secure in our intentions and integrity with others as well. Treating others how we want to be treated brings in much more peace than being cold and insensitive.

We can learn to love ourselves through our need to love others. We can learn to forgive others because we can forgive ourselves for being human, paradoxes and beautiful in our evolution.

About the Author:

Judi Lynch is a psychic medium, intuitive counselor, healing channel and author. She is president of the Crystal Healing Foundation, Inc. a 501(c) spiritual charity and writer for OM Times Magazine. She has authored two books, Friends with Lights and Conscious Ascension and has read for clients all over the world. To learn more or contact for a session see

Article description: Taking control of our destiny means remaining in charge of our personal decisions as much as possible. Defining our lives becomes more possible when we feel secure in our intentions and integrity with others as well.


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