I reflected on my dream from the previous night as the veterinarian’s gentle voice cut into my heart like a knife. My arms instinctively crossed over my chest to stop all the love pouring out from making me dizzy.
“All of Baby’s organs are failing. He is diabetic and in a state of ketosis. This is not unusual for a cat his age that also has tongue cancer.” The cancer had been discovered during a routine dental check-up seven years ago and at that time Baby had been given six months to live. “It would be best to put him down. He’s a twenty year old cat,” the vet had said at the time of the discovery. But I felt Baby’s spirit was still strong and decided against it.
“I’ll know when it’s time for him to go,” I answered, and took Baby Cakes home. That was seven years ago.
The months had come and gone but Baby stayed and thrived. I guess we all have expiration dates stamped somewhere on heels but only our Higher Power can read it. Baby’s was not seven years ago. “Baby Cakes is a miracle cat to have survived this long with or without cancer. But now he is in pain and not going to get better. He is shutting down.”
The decision is made. A shot to quiet him and stop the pain is followed by pink death. Pink nose, Pink month… Synchronicity can be a kick-in-the-pants.
“He’s halfway to heaven,” the vet said after the first injection. “You can leave if you want. We’ll take care of him.”
But I didn’t go. I wouldn’t leave my Baby. And my husband wouldn’t leave me. So we sat and waited together, as a family. When I was in my darkest hour, Baby never left me. He purred to me. He stroked my face and warmed my feet and heart.
As we hold Baby’s paws beneath the security of his blanket, I sing his favorite words to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb…. “Baby Cakes mouse treats, play outside, Momma Daddy love their Cakes, toys and treats….” The words to the song don’t fit or rhyme but they are perfect because Baby understands. He wraps his paw around my fingers and hugs me.
As I Reiki him, his body relaxes and his spirit slips out. He is free. The pain is gone. And so is my Baby. Where did he go? Who will take care of him, now? Will he be lonely? He’s never been away from home.
My Inner-guidance’s answer is to the point. “Stop torturing yourself. You know all those answers and if you don’t remember them, you’ll find them in your dreams. Believe!”
When Baby was all the way to heaven, I closed his blue eyes, and kissed his precious white head. Only the pink tips of his ears distinguish him from the towel. He is still warm as I tuck him in for his fist night ever away from home.
Now, as I sit to type, I must stop crying long enough to see the keys. As my nose clears, his smell rises from my chest where I held him so close on the ride to the vet. I close my eyes and day-dream of our times together. I’ll have to wash my clothes. I know I must. But, not yet. Let me sit with him just a little longer, with his smell and fur all over me—a reminder that there are things that survive cancer and death. It is called LOVE.
The washing machine will wash away the last physical remnants of my Baby Cakes but his memories are marked indelibly in my mind and life. I’ve read that some pets will take on the illness of their loved one. But I know Baby did not die of cancer. He died of old age. Cancer was a part of his life but did not rule it. Love ruled his life.
And, love cannot be washed away by soap and water. If love is one of the things you can take with you to the other side, hopefully Baby remembers me when I get there because I will be thinking of him as I climb the stairway to heaven in search of my little nurse.
If you can take love with you to the other side, is it possible it is already there waiting, too? I’ll bet it is.
How did my Spirit-guides know? Why did they warn me in the prophetic dream of impending death?
Perhaps because even they know the importance of our animals—our furry children in our lives—and the importance of their unconditional love, loyalty and profound healing powers. Animals are gifts from God with insight and a perception of crisis that we are only just beginning to understand.
Join me for Part 4 of this blog where we will visit the Rainbow Bridge and life after death.
Excerpted from SURVIVING CANCERLAND: Intuitive Aspects of Healing (Cypress House, January 2014) Reserve your copy NOW http://tinyurl.com/p7cjfxa, click here http://accessyourinnerguide.com/download/ to receive a free Dream Guidebook.
Bio: Kathleen O’Keefe-Kanavos, Intuitive Life Coach, survived three breast cancers, wrote SURVIVING CANCERLAND: Intuitive Aspects of Healing (Cypress House, Jan 2014) websites: Surviving Cancerland & Access Your Inner Guide, Hosts Living Well Talk Radio , Cancer Q&A columnist CapeWomenOnlineMagazine, Dream Queen columnist- Wellness Woman 40 & Beyond, Your Dream Intrepretation, WakeUpWomen; R.A. BLOCH Cancer Foundation Hotline Counselor. Represented by Steve Allen Media.