Relationships are like buying a house. There are many kinds of houses each representing the kind of relationship you have with yourself and with others. If you are single, you are looking for the house to enhance your joy and fulfill the level of wholeness you already have with yourself. If you are searching for a companion, you are looking for the house that will enhance the joy and fulfillment you have being single. If you are planning to move in with another person as a lover then you are checking to see if this house is suitable for both your needs. If you are married to another then you are hopefully enjoying the house and making minor adjustments.
Healthy relationships will flourish as you develop a healthy relationship with yourself. You can look at the parts of the house as representing the various parts of you, how you take care of yourself internally and externally, and the way you process your growth for self-awareness and evolvement. For example, the bedroom represents your deep-hearted desires and emotions, the bathroom represents cleansing and releasing of the old, the living room represents the way you socialize with others, the playroom represents the playful child in you, and the kitchen and exercise room represents how you care for your body. Some may have separate rooms for each part of the house and some may have combined them into the same room.
The important facet of these rooms is how you decorate them. The description of the house is based on the type relationship you are currently having with yourself. A house that is dark, depressing, dirty, broken down, full of fears and haunting ghosts is an unhealthy relationship and requires major fixing up; A house that is sunny, open, spacious, playful, feels warm and loving, and has some areas to clean and repair is the healthy relationship. Then there is the house that looks real inviting from the outside. When you go inside you find plastic on the furniture and masks on the faces and skeletons hidden in the closets so you cannot find them. It is hard to feel comfortable in this house because it is uninviting and cold, and there is a feeling of superficiality. Which house do you live in?
The first and last house represent relationships where people look outside to others for the things they desire within, such as love, security, and joy. They may settle for relationships that require major "fixing" due to habits or low self worth. The relationships may be controlling where they like to run the show through manipulation and lying. The relationships may be ones where they are the caretaker and mediator of others' problems; They may feel they are required to please others, discounting and ignoring their own needs and desires. These relationships come from low self- worth where they don't take care of themselves internally. There is a longing need for love, and a feeling of loneliness engulfs them. Rather than fulfill their own needs of emotional love, joy, and security, they will look outside to others to try to meet them. Relationship types will vary depending on the level of self-worth. As you start to develop a healthy relationship with yourself, you may feel guilty if you stand up for your beliefs, take care of your own needs and desires, and try to stop the pleasing and caretaking. If guilt occurs, in time it will subside as your belief in yourself increases.
I feel the true meaning of loving relationships is the ability to come from a genuine space of unconditional love within. An honest place where you walk your talk and give from your heart out of a desire to do so rather than a need for returned love. There is quite a difference between the "need for-a taking & receiving" love and the "choice to share" love.