You can listen and not hear a word that’s being said, we do it all the time. And you can listen with great intent and also take in the emotion that’s attached to each word and learn so much more.
That type of listening -- “Deep Listening” is being lost. Lost because we don’t take the time needed to really listen to someone because we say we are too busy... but listening is very important.
It’s one thing to listen to someone with your mind, but a whole new world when you give of yourself completely, and connect with your heart to what someone’s saying... and try to understand.
First you have to open your mind to what’s being said... a closed mind hears nothing.
Second you have to be willing to take in all the feelings, feelings that are being conveyed with the message, more than 90% of our communication comes from feelings.
Third you have to TRY to understand what’s being said, it’s easy to listen mechanically... and not give darn about what’s being said because you already have your mind made up.
Fourth you have to respect the person for who they are... they are a fellow human being, a Divine part of God, The Tao, and the Universe with a different perspective, otherwise you will not hear them.
Fifth you have to care about what the other person is saying... caring is important and listening is part of caring. Caring is another word for love, and you have to extend love into a conversation to create a positive outcome.
Sixth you have to have a feeling of cooperation within yourself... a feeling that extends beyond your mind/body telling them that this is important, and you want to make it work.
Seventh you have to go beyond words... many times people say one thing and mean another, and you have to find what they really are saying, the meaning behind the words. Sometimes they don’t have the right words, but they are trying their best.
Eighth... you have to send a message to them that they are being heard... and many times that’s all they need. If you say, “I hear what you are saying and I really understand” that simple message can make all the difference in the world.
Ninth... listen with open body language, crossing your arms in front of your chest means you are closed off, and look around the room while they are talking means they are not important. Body language is important, you want to convey to them that you are open and ready to listen.
Tenth... ask for Divine Guidance while interacting with someone, perhaps you don’t have the right words. But if you has for Divine guidance the right words will come... but most of all listen with intent.
We can heal the world one conversation at a time!
Dr. Paul Haider