Sally is in a relationship with Rob, her boyfriend of 2 years. They love each other and share some fun together yet there is this unpredictable negative dynamic that surfaces often. It brings heartache and pain to their lives and a negative shift in how they feel about love and themselves when they are together.
Does this sound like something you have been living for a while and you are wondering if this is the new trend in relationships?
It is very normal to go through ups and downs in relationships. It is healthy to feel angry, sad sometimes as long as you come to an understanding, allow yourself to be completely vulnerable and honest so you can grow and deepen your bond with your partner.
On the opposite side, sometimes we go through an unhealthy relationship for a long time that causes a lot damage to our psyche without even being aware of what is going on.
So, below is a brief checklist that could help you identify the signs of an unhealthy dynamic you have with your partner:
So, if you have any of the symptoms mentioned above, that might be a sign that something REALLY deep needs to shift in your relationship with yourself first and then your partner. Never give up on a relationship before you do everything you could possibly do to make it last and that all starts from within yourself.
Your relationship with your partner is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. So, Examine how you feel about yourself, take this list and see if you use the same behavior towards yourself and then ask yourself: What makes me happy? Unhappy? How can I meet my own needs first and what do I need my partner to do to meet the rest of them? What is triggering this dynamic between me and my partner? Why do I feel I need to be dishonest so I can get what I want? What is keeping me from being myself fully and openly? What is really scaring me from being in a healthy relationship? Finally, what is my definition of a healthy relationship? You can read my previous article about the secrets that keep happy couples together to get positive tips on helping your relationship grow.