Is The Focus On Finding A "Twin Flame" A Healthy One?

Working as an advisor in the new-age industry, I can end up talking to many individuals, both as clients and friends.  As a result, I’ve listened to a multitude of individuals and seen how certain new-age ideas have been employed. I’ve also observed the detrimental effects they have had. If consistent patterns arise, I may begin to question, “What is it about certain beliefs; that instead of bringing people more peace and contentment, they are making a great number of individuals feel ungrounded, codependent, addicted, anxious, or depressed?”

As one example, I’ve begun to see how the “twin flame” label can affect the consciousness of vulnerable individuals who are in love with someone who is unavailable in some form. This article is geared towards these individuals who are left rejected, pining and hoping for someone who they felt was a twin flame to be able to love them. It even seems that this kind of harm is being incorporated into the label of “twin flame”; as if a person should expect harm if they have encountered their twin.

From all I’ve observed in talking to individuals who have discussed twin flames and the questions that arise, it seems that a few patterns consistently arise that have frequent and consistent effects, such as:

1. The One and Only

The Philosophy:

We only have one twin flame. This twin flame is part of our own soul that we are each a half of. Being with our twin, therefore, completes us. If we get to meet our “twin” in the physical world, we are to consider ourselves very blessed.

The Detrimental Effects:

A danger can arise if an individual, believing they have met their twin flame, become afraid to release their love object to move forward when a relationship does not pan out.

For the vulnerable individual, to release someone that they have accepted as their “twin” could be perceived as walking away from something or someone extremely exceptional. In the mind of the true believer, once lost, one can never have such a “special” love again. They have also lost the opportunity to bond with the other half of their soul.

As a result, a person can become very depressed, or terrified of rejection or loss. It can also result in codependency, obsession, clinging, and psychic addiction.  In severe cases, I’ve seen it result in loss of touch with reality, restraining orders and stalking.

2. Increasing our Frequency

The Philosophy:

Being with a twin flame can help us “increase our frequency” or we may attract a twin flame during such a process or to help with it.

The Detrimental Effects:

Like I stated in the first point, something very sacred becomes attached to the idea that a romantic relationship can be mystical, sacred, and evolve a person’s frequency or consciousness. So, again, this can serve to block a person from evolving on their own. It can also lead to feelings of co-dependence, obligation, expectation, frustration and other unhealthy behaviors.

3. “Why Twin Flames Run”

The Philosophy:

The twin flame relationships supposed to be difficult and fraught with challenges. We are facing ourselves and our own flaws through our other half of our soul (in our partner), which this can bring up some difficult situations and emotions. There are even articles and websites dedicated to the topic of why twin flames run.

The Detrimental Effects:

Such websites and philosophies can innocently turn being "loved and left" into the trials and tribulations of having a soul mate.  They, again, can keep a vulnerable person from accepting a reality that someone doesn’t want to be with them anymore. 

The information is also slightly misleading. A person does not need to be a twin flame to run from love and difficulties may arise in many relationships that are non-twin. A lot of people can be afraid of commitment and run from a relationship for different reasons. Some of them may be repeating this pattern with multiple partners.

4. “Intense Feelings”

The Philosophy:

You can recognize a twin flame from the intense feelings you are having; that may be stronger than you've had before.

The Detrimental Effects:

This, again, leads to confusion, clinging, obsession and depression. It also confused "intense feelings" with "love." Often, the wrong kind of intense feelings that could offer themselves as red flags and warnings get confused with love or being “meant to be together.”

What To Do If You Are Exhibiting Some Of The Detrimental Effects:

1. Understand that the new-age, like any other religion, can be imperfect in its understanding.  Spirituality should not make a person more imbalanced but less so. Be careful with being locked into mind-sets and philosophies that keep you over-striving, anxious, focused on outcomes and attached to labels.

2. Be mindful concerning abuse of the occult and don't believe everything a psychic tells you. You will know if the occult is being abused if experimenting with it leads to addiction, obsession, or hyper-vigilance. The way back onto the spiritual path again is to focus on letting go of control in order to find peace of mind. So, if anything or anyone is making you feel addicted and obsessed, the lesson could be one of transcending or releasing that addiction or attachment.

3. Remember that love addictions, codependency and unhealthy relationships can trigger obsession and intense feelings.  For example, people who date others who are hot-and-cold can commonly report feeling "intense feelings."  Casanovas and romance addicts can be very romantic, empathic, and charismatic. They can come on very intensely and want to move a relationship forward very fast. However, they can lose interest and stop calling you just as fast. They can get a high off of the intense feelings fostered with many women.

4. Let go of beliefs that if you dream of someone or “feel” or sense them a lot that they are your twin.  If you are attached to a person, feel a sense of rejection, or are receiving psychic readings, it would be natural that you would be in another person’s energy field more, dreaming about them, etc. Remember to feel your own feelings. Tune into your own energy field and emotions in order to process your own grief and feelings of disappointment.

5. Let go of the “meant to be together” mentality. We have many lessons to learn from the people in our lives and sometimes the main lesson a person might come into our lives to teach us is to let go rather than hang on. Some of our biggest lessons during this time may be of letting go of dependency, codependency, and need for approval in order to discover how to truly love and how to allow ourselves to be loved for who we are.

6. Most important, try to let the labels go. Instead, seek to simply focus on how to be a loving person, how to love yourself and how to receive love. Make whatever relationships you are in a sacred one and let it serve you (and you serve it) in a healing way. You are under no contract to love someone who does not love you back, who cheats on you, “runs”, hasn’t called, is married to another person or anything else. Know that you can still experience a special and thriving relationship with the person who is right for you and who can help you evolve. The most important twin flame is the flame of the holy spark within your own loving heart.

In summary, remember that the whole idea behind mysticism is one of letting go of attachments and clinging; finding peace of mind while becoming mindful rather than obsessed. Many mystics were solitary and were not codependent upon relationships in any way (familial or romantic). So, know that you will not deter yourself from becoming a more enlightened or "higher frequency" person through being alone or losing a love that you feel is a “twin flame.” If anything, the mystical approach is to be entirely devoted to spirit. Spirit becomes the twin flame connection, and enlightenment comes through the release of attachment to illusions of all kinds and forms. After all, we talk about how everything is illusion. If so, then it is safe to let them go.

About the Author

Mandy Peterson is a psychic visionary, empath, channel and EFT Practitioner. She is the author of the book, “I Am the Lotus, Not the Muddy Pond: Peace Through Non-conformity” and the EFT Divination & Chakra Deck. As an empathic healer and reader, Mandy works 1-to-1 with clients, helping them to achieve clarity, peace and balance. For more information, see Mandy’s website at

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Comment by Mandy Peterson on October 12, 2014 at 4:57pm

hehe, cute

Comment by Omtimes Media on October 12, 2014 at 1:09am

It was a burp he he he 

Comment by Mandy Peterson on October 11, 2014 at 11:04pm

Hmmmm two smiles? One's an accident? Or is it the subject matter? Just seen a lot of this in the last couple of weeks and people getting severely depressed, so wanted to write about it. But I can take it down if its offensive.

Comment by Omtimes Media on October 11, 2014 at 10:51pm

Comment by Omtimes Media on October 11, 2014 at 10:31pm

OM Times Magazine is a Holistic Green eZine with a Spiritual Self-growth Perspective for the Conscious Community.



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