After being in a loving relationship, unfortunately, that very loving relationship may turn sour and come to an end. A broken relationship is difficult for everyone and no one wants it to happen. Feelings of emptiness, sadness and anger all becomes apparent, as we are left alone not knowing what to do, or, how to handle such intense emotions. During such times it is natural to feel that our relationship has failed. However, we can take a different perspective and see that the relationship was not a failure at all.
When a relationship has ended there are two levels of experience happening. The first level is of the mind, and the second is the Soul. On the mind level, the relationship's end will no doubt feel upsetting. The mind will conjure up many thoughts of disappointment, failure, anger or jealousy. Or, we immediately feel our insecurities surfacing, and we will have a knee jerk reaction to "win the person back."
Relationship break ups are never easy; they are emotionally painful and physically draining. We become lost, confused and refuse to socialize. Not much will interest us anymore. We become depressed and unhappy. Keep in mind however; unless this is your first relationship, you went through this before. Your past relationships ended in pain as well. Where are those past pains now? At that time you probably thought the same things you are thinking now, "I cannot live without this person," "I miss him/her," "I'm never going to meet anyone again," "I'll be lonely for the rest of my life" or "I never want to date again."
The thought of going into a new relationship is out of the question or just plain scary. And, if we do go into another relationship we step in half way, with one foot always in the ready position to run away. This is typically how the mind deals with relationships.
Whenever we are distraught our mind forgets our strengths, wisdom, resilience and the ability to move forward. We forget that we have overcome similar struggles before. And, our mind tends to treat heartache like there's no way out. And, yet, from our history we know this is not the case. We have surpassed sadness before and we can do it again.
When our Soul looks at us and our life, it has a very different story going on. From the Soul's perspective, the relationship is just another experience that adds to the overall creation and expansion of our consciousness. From the Soul's perspective there is no failure, if a relationship has ended, it was destined to end. If it was not meant to happen it would not have happened. The Soul does not make mistakes.
Our intellectual mind cannot see the bigger picture, nor can it see the appropriateness of all events in our lives. The Soul is able to see all angles because it created the events. And, it knows the reasons and potentials behind all choices and events in our lives. Meanwhile, the mind is left puzzled and angry. The mind cannot see (or know) what the Soul knows.
Since our intellectual mind cannot see the bigger picture, it can only assume the reasons for the break up. This is like reading one page of a book, and now you think you understand the whole book. Any attempt to understand an entire book by reading only one page will be loaded with false assumptions. Similarly, our mind will come up with many wild ideas and interpretations about the totality of a relationship and its purpose.
As you look at your life and its events through the heights of your Soul, pain softens, and dissipates, much quicker than before. As spiritual light shines through pain, the pain itself becomes lighter and less upsetting. Your inner world feels less claustrophobic.
The mind likes to look at the doom and gloom of a situation, and it will convince you that the relationship has failed (or that you have failed.) Do not listen to that voice; instead listen to the voice of your Soul. Your Soul does not judge the relationship (or you) as good or bad, right or wrong or failure or success. Go beyond the mind and keep your attention on your Soul's purpose and journey.
If our relationship has ended it was supposed to end because there are greater experiences waiting for us. Our Soul's purpose is to attain higher levels of light, and quite possibly, the relationship was preventing this from happening. Broken relationships are our own "tests" and "lessons" we give ourselves to expand our life and spiritual experiences. One of those lessons is to discover our own power, individuality and self-love.
Loving ourselves FIRST is (and always will be) our greatest lesson. Very often people will have this realization in their deepest loneliness. And, finally realize, they could not have reached this awareness through another person.
Consider broken relationships as a necessary part of our personal growth, and as painful as they may be, by going through a break up with wisdom and courage we come closer to our higher love and inner peace. Ended relationships are never a failure. And, if we think of it as a failure, we are subconsciously calling ourselves a failure as well. And, this must be avoided if we wish to heal and spiritually awaken.
All relationships will serve a purpose. Every person that we spend time with will provide us with various insights and experiences. Through these experiences we then use this information to fine tune, sort out, and clarify, the things we want (and don't want) in a relationship. And, by doing this, it helps us to know exactly how we want to be treated and the things we want to do, and have, in a relationship.
Therefore, all people that enter our lives are teaching us how to move toward our ideal sense of living. And, from the Soul's perspective nothing is lost, nothing is gone and nothing is wrong. All experiences in our lives are an integral part of our spiritual awakening and increased inner light.
About the Author:
Bob Mangroo is a personal potential coach and spiritual teacher. His training and coaching work includes hypnosis, meditation and Neuro-Linguistic Programming(NLP). In addition, he has earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology at York University in Toronto, Canada. www.bobmangroo.com