Two things women can do to embody their purpose

Why women need to reclaim their right to happiness

As a spiritual, creative woman you have valuable gifts to offer the world. Every day you work to deliver your message and fulfill your soul’s purpose. Why are your efforts producing little results? Why is it so hard for you to charge the prices that your product or work really deserves? Why is it painful for you to play a bigger game? Before you blame yourself, consider that the answer may lie in the century-old remnants of patriarchal domination that still interfere in a woman's subconscious mind and in our Collective Unconscious.

Still today it seems that most of the spiritual leaders, personal growth experts and speakers in the BIG stages are men, though thousands of women deliver excellent results to their communities daily. Visibility, fear of speaking and playing small are massive issues among women ~even among powerful women who are sharing their expertise in the world.

Remember that we are one. You may have done massive personal growth work. You may have prepared yourself professionally. Still, you are not separate from our Collective Unconscious. This unconscious does not work in a vacuum. It is part of YOUR subconscious and it expresses itself in the beliefs and attitudes all around you. These old beliefs that enslaved women for centuries still operate. They are hard to change and take centuries to shift. To get a historical perspective consider women's right to live ~the most elemental right of all. 

Women were slaves

Up till 1829 in England and 1882 in the United States, women were considered an object that was the property of the father or husband and had no right or recourse. They could be beaten, even to death, as long as the man could prove that "she deserved it."

Even as far as 1886 a North Carolina court turned the clock back when they ruled that a man cannot be criminally charged on a domestic violence complaint unless there is permanent damage or the instance was ‘malicious beyond all reasonable bounds.’ A husband could beat his wife daily, and as long as she wasn't dead or permanently crippled, she had no recourse!

Towards the middle of the 19th century in England, Queen Victoria came into power, and the British enacted a series of laws to protect women. Even then, while Europe was moving forward, the USA was lagging behind. 

It was not until 1994 that the United States issued the Violence Against Women Act, one of the first federal programs which outlined programs to prevent and address violence against women, and established a domestic violence hotline.

For more information on the legal history of violence against women in England and the USA, visit

Embedded Beliefs and Social Attitudes

It takes years to change individually and decades or even centuries to change collectively. Still kicking in our Collective Unconscious is the habit of blaming a woman for anything that happens to her or her family and keeping her in a domestic leash. Mothers are constantly blamed for anything that happens to their children. We still hear comments on how a girl was dressed or how many lovers she previously had in incidents of rape.  Women are frequently stigmatized if they focus on their success, go for what they want or place their purpose or goals before their domestic duties.

Just the other day, I heard a progressive young man blaming Sarai Sierra for being a bad mother because she was having a holiday abroad without her family. The other man in the group agreed with this assessment. The discussion was divided across gender. The women ~who were a majority at the table~  saw Sarai's death as a result of violence against women. But they were aggressively silenced by the angry men who insisting on blaming Sarai for a multitude of sins. For the whole story, go to:

Do not underestimate how powerful old beliefs and emotions can be. You may have "come a long way" ~but these life-threatening emotional memories of danger may still remain active in your emotional baggage. They become unconscious triggers that are fired when you try to "go for it." These emotional remnants may drag you into a down spiral of fear, shame and guilt when you give yourself priority, do what you want or assert your authority.

You may experience inexplicable anxiety when you think of becoming highly visible in your field of expertise. Visibility issues are massive among women, as is fear of speaking and feelings of being selfish if they give themselves time or make themselves happy. Eating disorders and body image issues ~two maladies afflicting contemporary women like a plague~ are also linked to these old female experiences of helplessness, abandonment and insufficiency.

Women excel in relationship-building and collaboration. Yet, for many women coaches, healers and spiritual teachers around the world, professional networking is a nightmare. It's not the relationship part that causes feelings of inadequacy or triggers procrastination and other defensive patterns. It's fear of visibility, fear of rejection and fear of playing a bigger game that keeps these powerful women from assuming their rightful place in the world.

How do you respond now?

What do you do when these feelings of inadequacy or the fear of rejection hold you back?

  • Do you push yourself to do more and end up working long hours and still being ineffective, so that, frustrated you work even more?
  • Do you judge yourself for procrastinating or holding back,allowing your Shadows to put you down and engage in a self-diminishing inner dialogue?
  • Do you demonize those who go for it and succeed as a way of feeling that you are good because you are not "selfish" enough to succeed?
  • Do you give up,staying in your Comfort Zone and avoiding the actions that would bring you more followers, visibility, authority or money?

If you recognize any of these responses, then stop blaming yourself. When you blame and judge yourself, you are part of the abusive mindset that has punished women for centuries.

When you stay small and settle for less, you are part of the constrictive mindset that has kept women from excelling and have stolen women's gifts from the world for centuries.

When you feel the down spiral of doubts, the fear of rejection or the hold-back of inadequacy pulling you back, shift your perception from questioning your right to deserve to affirming your right to be happy.

Shift from Inadequacy to Celebration

Joyfully, lovingly and creatively assert your right to be happy as a woman.

Your right to happiness is like laughter. It can be contagious. It is healing. But women have been embedded with the belief that when we are happy we are selfish, that when we do what we want, we are somehow stealing from our loved ones. The opposite is true. Your happiness is the best gift you can give others.

The fist thing you can do is to shift your attention from focusing on what holds you back, what you lack or why others may reject you to a celebration of gratitude, love and joy. Focus on what you love in yourself and what you love to do; that which brings you ecstasy. Feel that joy. Let it spread. These three emotions, which I call the Key Emotions, activate your Heart Coherence. For more information in Heart Coherence, visit the HearthMath Institute at:

The Sacred Feminine teaches us that the heart's intelligence is ten times more powerful than that of the logical mind. Key emotions feed the Toroidal Energy Field ~your heart's energy body. Now this field emanates powerful vibrations that carry the frequencies of love, gratitude and joy into your mind, organs and cells.  This shifts you holistically ~not just mentally~ into a state of harmony that overrides the old limiting beliefs.

The second thing you can do is to create a lifestyle in which you nurture your five Sacred Feminine Rights every day.

  • The right to be. The Sacred Feminine teaches that your gifts are embedded in your Presence. Become aware that you have a right to be in this beautiful earth. Extend that consciousness to the experience that you are A PART of this earth.

  • The Right to be happy. You have the right to happiness. It’s even written in the USA constitution! Choose happiness over selflessness, sacrifice and duty-bound guilt.

  • The right to be the creator of your life. Are you living a quality of life that makes your heart sing? You have the right, the power and the responsibility to create that life.  You can give that right to ALL women by taking it for yourself. Your daughters will thank you for this!

  • The right to embody your purpose.Give yourself the permission and space to embody your purpose and to be the change you were meant to be in the world. Your voice matters. Your influence matters. Take yourself seriously as an influencer.

  • The right to be your own priority. Be careful to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to your priorities. Are you receiving support now? Get the support you need to be able to give yourself priority ~both in terms of your talents, work and purpose and of your well-being.


There is a lot you can do to free yourself from the baggage of female slavery. But you cannot do it alone and in separation. You need to assume your female leadership in the world by:

  • Finding the support that allows you to give yourself and your dreams priority and by
  • Giving yourself permission to be happy.

This will not only empower you to step into your greatness, embodying your purpose and sharing your unique gifts with the world. It will also allow you to spread your joy in the world.

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Comment by Trevor Taylor on May 30, 2013 at 5:05am

Maria, superb   Your article is going into one of the July multi-media editions. Could you pse add a short BIO at the end of the article...

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