The first time I was admitted to the Wellness Ward was in 2003, my mind was filled
with bees, humming I could not sit still I had been given a wrong dose of medication of
medication from my GP. Oh did I react from that! The wellness ward is to focus on
becoming well. Most times when I was admitted I would have a beautiful white room
with a huge desk over looking these huge windows. There also was one big white pillar
in the room. Most days I would spend listening to music and painting. That year many
women joined me and we painted, and talked, yet most times we painted and looked out
the window in solitude.
In the basement they have a big room that is mainly used for painting and I would be
found there as well. Or outside in the courtyard dancing and gardening to natures sweet
There was also a room where we could spend time doing meditations they had mats and
blankets. Yet meditation was like an art it takes practice and dedication to channel your
mind and just relax .As in society there are so many vast distractions yet I believe
meditation is a strong key link as well as the arts to a better wellbeing.
Another thing I did was pamper two women, it was like a spa get away for them.
I washed their hair, blew it dry, put make up on them. They felt so good after, they even
had more of a spring in their beat. These ladies were also struggling with so many vast
issues in life. I just made their day a more cheerful one.
When I was there in 2003 I had this people pleasing mentality, I was not there for me I
was there to meet others and chat. One nurse reminded me many times you are here for
you. I did not care to listen nor was I ready. I just clung to others for support.
I did not know the words or how to even let go. I guess it is because of my up bringing.
I walked around in life carrying this mask pretending to be ok, yet little did any one
know on the inside I suffered so so very much! So I just had the drive to please.
I got outside of the hospital and my days where the same, nothing had changed.
No life changing occurrences.
Yet it all started to take place in 2006 again I was admitted to the Wellness Ward.
This time they did many vast tests on me. One was a written one I did in two hours.
The Dr’s and nurses where stunned as no one does it in that time. It sent my mind
spinning. Not sure what the results are. Nor do I for all the tests they did.
An EEG, CAT all on my pretty head.
One day my Dr came in the room and he said Lori you are very clever and he tore the
shit right out of me. He said “you have been lying to me.” Oh yes I was. It first sadden
me that I had lied to him. Then I lost control and cried so many tears of sorrow.
That is when I knew I needed to start to change my ways.
As I was in the hospital I focused on the healing arts and that channeled my mind to heal.
While there one nurse spent much time asking and possibly charting about my paintings
and what I was feeling. One time I did a sketch and it was all on my abuse filled with
abuse. One nurse came in and said,” you need to do happy pictures.”
Yet , that is not what my paintings are about, my paintings are a transformation of how
my moods are within the environment that I am surrounded in. It would be like faking
how I felt and my paintings would not then be a process of my healing path.
I was going through some real tough times with my family, and my Dr. was feeling so
much pressure. When I saw him the pressure was just too much. So that year I fired my
whole team. I had enough from everyone! I have the greatest respect for my old team yet
it just was not working for me. So I needed to take a rest. That was my most difficult and
trying year. I got a new Dr. she did not no me. Also it takes a long time to really no
who I am as I do not seem to open up to new people. I guess it is a fear I have, a fear of
that they won’t accept me for my strange ways of who I am. As I am truly a unique soul.
So I believe it all began in 2008 sometime that I had my new Dr. I really did like her.
She worked well with my family as they can be somewhat overbearing. My family just
wanted the best for me, and I guess with having mental health issues, it is so complex
also there are no easy quick fix answers or solutions. It all takes time to heal and be well.
I n 2009 I had to have the worst episodes I have had and the most dangerous as I
became homeless, I did learn to survive yet sometimes I risked my life many times
actually. That I will add in later. August 11 2009 my Nan grandmother’s Birthday.
Many police surrounded the house I was staying in. They swarmed in I had paintings all
over. The walls were covered with my writings as I had no paper so I had to write.
My shrine was there to keep me safe. Also many books from the library to inspire me.
I sat on the couch they continued to ask me questions. I did not answer I don’t think.
I just asked for their numbers. Then one man said in a stern voice Lori pack your stuff.
If they did not come. The man that owned the house would have kicked me on the street.
I would have no where to go. I packed a huge black suite case. They took me to the
Wellness ward. I was so hungry, as I was living of bread from the Carmichael
Outreach not much else. I also was on a plant base diet so when I got in the hospital my
Dr. got me to see the Nutritionist and she put me on a special plant based diet in the
Hospital. A lot a people complain of the food in the hospital, yet each day they would
send me bowls of fresh fruit and veggie and humus sandwiches or beans. Lots of fresh
veggies too. They fed me like a queen. My Dr new I did yoga so she sent for a mat so
each day I would do yoga in my room. I did not have many paints so I used cups to make
art. One nurse did not like it so she told my nurse to get rid of my work of art.
That day I cried, and complained in the poetry charts by the desk.
Many days I would be working on writing, and go to the computer lab and library in the
hospital and study there. I only had so much time to leave the ward so I had to use my
I also put together many letters and a Lawyer and I would go in and debate that I should
be set free. My Dr. and I would go head to head debating our cases. She would always
win. Yet really she had a good case as I had no home to go too!
In 2009 I was in the hospital for over two months and I could not really go out for some
long walks. Except around the grounds. A few times the Dr. let me out yet then I was
again do risky things so she put a stop to that.
She had a good heart, and really cared and was firm in a good sense.
Many times I would see different Dr’s as mine would be away, or I would talk and ask
many of them questions. They would all take the time to answer me.
The nursing staff was always there for much needed support too.
I had an amazing Social Worker that gave me a book about my rights, and it sent my
mind spinning! As most times I never had rights they were always taken from me.
My Psychologist would take time out of her busy day and come up to see me as well.
That year I had so many supports cheering me on for my better well being.
They also had groups and I just was not into those, I liked the one on one therapy.
I guess sometimes I would feel, so much for others energies and it would bring me
Another thing I would do was I would go to the chapel, and there was a healing room.
I got my Dr. to put a request to go heal in the room, yet they denied my access there.
One nurse said maybe when you are better you can come back and go.
All in all my time was spent to heal and work on me. This was the focus of my time
spent. In the Wellness Ward. This place is a place for people to focus on themselves
and heal and be well. There are many paintings on the wall to inspire the creative mind.
This is far from a dark dreary place. This place is filled with much light and brightness
filled with music good food and the staff and Dr.s do really care.
When ever I go in I take it as a spa get away and really take the time to pamper me.
As we really do need to take time to create space in our lives to focus on our wellbeing.
We do not need to spend a lot of money doing this; we just need to be a little creative
and find out what works best for our needs, and take time to pamper our bodies so we can
continue to heal and be well each and everyday.