“I am and I have” are the most important words we use every single day. What we say or write after them is what shapes our identity and more importantly it is what shapes our destiny.
Have you ever thought about how many times you label yourself every day?
I am grumpy right now (I personally say this a lot).
I am stuck.
I am hating this job.
I am bored or I am boring.
I am scared of flying.
I am not strong.
I have BPD (which equals I am BPD, I’m messed up and there’s something wrong with me).
I have anxiety or I have depression (which equals I am anxiety and I am depression, there’s something wrong with me, I’ll always be depressed and anxious).
Believing that you are XXX is a trap. It gets you paralyzed because you think, you speak and you act as if you’re that belief. It prevents you from growing and from seeing the actual truth, YOUR TRUTH.
Let’s take this example: What happens when someone gets diagnosed with “anxiety disorder”?
They start acting as if they’re anxious all the time even though that’s definitely not true at all. They take medications to calm their anxiety, they push people away and they use this labeling as an excuse to stay in their own cocoon instead of facing their fears. They start focusing on everything that is wrong about them and everything that could go wrong in their lives which trigger a higher level of anxiety.
Let’s take another example: What happens when you say “I am stuck”?
You stay stuck. You start acting as if you’ll always be stuck and as if you’re too weak to snap out of this situation. You can’t see your situation from a different perspective because your energy is so focused on being stuck instead of focusing on “finding solutions” and “thinking outside the box”.
What is the solution to labeling?
It is simple.
Stop this BS of labeling yourself. We all do this when we’re scared of growing. If others label you such as your therapist, ask them politely to not bring this up anymore and ask them to help you shift your focus to find solutions instead of being fixated on the new name and the problems that emerge from it.
Decide for yourself who you want to become. Ask yourself: who do I want to become? If you’re saying “I’m boring” then who do you want to be instead? If you’re saying “I have anxiety” then what do you want instead?
Replace the old BS words you used with new ones that serve you. For example: “I have courage” instead of “I have anxiety”.
Focus your energy on who you want to be become in 1, 5,10 and 50 years from now.
Write down a list of strategies that you could apply immediately when the labeled thoughts show up again. For example, I wrote myself an empowering letter that reminds me of my courage, power and everything I have accomplished. I keep this letter with me when I am flying in case the creepy thought surfaced again.