Posted on Sep 11th, 2008 by Siona
What, over the course of your life, have you learned about healing, or about forgiveness?
What does healing mean to you? Is there a connection between healing and letting go, or
healing and being whole, or healing and compassion?
Thank you, Thank you Thank you Siona for these questions, as it came, at just the right
time within my life.
The last few days I posted, paintings that I did within a two months time period.
So here is my story behind the paintings, this is a short version as so much happened.
In 2000, I fled with 9 bags, and my children, I hand nothing no money, yet I had my
children. I stayed with my family for a few months, and then my Dad, and my
Grandmother, bought a house, I put in some money, as I never got much from the
Divorce, we fought, and finally, I gave it all to him. I did get some of his RRSP, and
spent them all, as I really did not want his money that way.
Something happened, that made me break, break to the point of no return. I thought, my
daughter was being sexually molested, I will not point, a finger to a name, yet I will say,
there are records regarding this matter. The reason, I believe, I broke so bad is, that I
wanted to help, my baby girl, and find out what was happening, and I wanted to stop it.
I fought like a lion to get answers.
Then so many things started to happen, where I was living, there were rules and I just
wanted to be free to be me. I went to see Dr. Chopra speak, and what happened there
Gave me hope, I had plans. I understood what he was saying, and shoke his hand, and I
Was going to take a coarse of his, and for some reason some people did not like this so
they phoned the person that was organizing the course.
I had gone to my GP, and he gave me some drugs, and they made me go wild, he had
Talked to some people, and then when I went in, to say they were doing this he gave me
more. I was to the point of NO ONE IS LISTENING TO ME. So I went, and started
moving furniture, and for some reason people thought I was moving to Saskatoon.
They never asked. I moved all the furniture all over our house to the middle of each
room. I was on a mission, I wanted to take my children to the country, and just be with
them quietly for awhile. The police where called, I was handcuffed in front of my
children, and then I was taken to the hospital.
There, I saw a DR. he said what is wrong, I said I want to see my lawyer, and then I was
sent up for a month in the ward. My mind was busy, from the drugs that my GP put me
on. I could not sit, or write, all I could do was paint, and I painted, and painted.
One time, I gave two women there, a spa treatment, to make them feel better.
I made a rug for a man beside me, as he was having issues. I gave paintings away. I was
there, and I was not there for me, to get better. I went in with a vision; I went out, and for
some reason, my vision was gone for three years, I forgot everything, all the things that
gave me hope for a new tomorrow.
I do not blame anyone for this. When I was there I was given a label for the first time in
my life. I am a person first; I have a heart and a soul. , and I am who I am, I am me.
Then three years past by, and I really was healing, I was learning, and as my brother says,
you can not help anyone until they want help.
Again, stress started to set in, I wanted to move, and bought a house, I had a business,
that I wanted to create. I was taking courses, as this is something I have wanted to do for
oh so long. I was working with children at the time, and I could not distance myself, as I
loved them all, and my heart went to them. One child was dieing
I could not do anything for here, and I was crumbling inside as, she was such, a joy in my
life. Then I just needed to get away, and I gave her something so special, and dear to
Again, was wanting to build my own business, yet I was coming up with so many road
blocks along the way. Interestingly enough, my visions, my hopes, and dreams were clear
as day. I also had some trouble with a scam, and lost a lot of money.
One day, again I was told I needed to go to the hospital, as I had gone of my meds. For
the very first time.
I stayed in the hospital this time for a month, this time I was there for me, and for me to
heal. I painted , I wrote, I sang , I danced , and I cried like I never cried before , and let so
My DR. Said the only way we can help is if you tell us everything. I did so many tests,
and still to this day, I do not understand why, they were testing me in this way.
Next time I have my appointment, I will ask so I know.
So over those two month time this is when I needed to paint and it has helped me heal.
When I write, I heal, when I dance, I heal, when, I listen to music I heal, when I sing I
This is my story behind the painting of healing. What works for one may not work for
Others. Yet we all must find our healing paths, as the world has become filled with
Chaos. I for one will not live in a chaotic lifestyle. To many people are pressured in work
home life. The news around us is full of glum and doom why can we not have news of
health wellness and what makes our spirits soar? If we can not look outside the box and
start to be creative assertive and create our own healing imageries. This can be at work or
at home or in a personal way. For me life has never been easy as I have had always work
had to get to where I am. I have gone far yet still have bigger visions to explore. I have
lost everything and that has made me stronger. Because I have seen how many live and
survive. Also get by with pride.I have seen many that have lost their way. I have seen
many that take money and use it and abuse it. We as people have to come together and
work together in harmony and heal. We must begin with letting go and forgiving
ourselves and others. So we can take this healing path . Tred gentle on our Earth and be
gentle with ourselves and other’s. Be passionate of what you believe in, yet be gentle of
who you judge. I am on a healing journey in life
and I have had to learn to let go of my past, and how I have lived this way.
What can you do today to start your healing journey? Be exotic be rare create with your mind your
heart your soul will guide you and believe in your visions .