Do we choose to love? Or is Love a ‘predicament’, a ‘situation’, a ‘mental or emotional disruption’ that happens to us?
There are as many views and theories of what Love is about as there are people who have given a thought to that intriguing and exciting subject.
Is Love a feeling, an emotion, or a state of mind? Is it the best thing that can ever happen to us, or a disaster which can ruin our life?
Or is Love a “predicament”, a “situation”, a “mental or emotional disruption” that happens to us?
Questions like these have been perpetuated by numerous writers, poets, performers, other artists, psychologists, philosophers and those who have ever been, or have hoped to be, in Love.
We are all Lovers by nature. And that’s because, whether we are aware of it or not, we always have loved (one way or another) and we are filled with Love.
When we are talking about Love, usually the first thing that comes to mind is Romantic Love, the one that fills us with passion, changes our heartbeat, and makes us devoted to the “one and only” person in the entire world.
However, Love, as most of us have already found out, has many faces.
There is motherly/fatherly Love, the biological bond which most of us have discovered as early as when we were in our mother’s womb.
Then there is family Love, known to us through our connections with our siblings, grandparents, or other relatives.
Some of us feel Love for our pets, nature, town, country, or the entire globe. Some people say that they love humankind.
Some describe “Love” as the feeling they have when talking about their life, career, their house, their car, computer, iPod, iPhone, cellphone - or other things they own or want to purchase.
No matter with whom or what, we all have discovered ways of “falling in Love”, or “loving” whoever or whatever we found desirable and “worthy” of the investment of our time, energy, thought and heart.
We all know Love, if not through our own experience, then at least through observation or life wisdom which taught us about the existence of such an enormous power.
Of course, there are emotions associated with sharing Love in a romantic relationship such as passion, tenderness, longing and simply the joy of being together. But those are emotions, not Love.
A biological scientist would argue with us, because they tend to view Love as one of the basic human drives, similar to hunger or thirst.
The conventional view of Love in biology explains that sex drives, partner preference and attachment are governed by the primary neurochemicals: testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin. It further concludes that the sex drive in those who have multiple sexual encounters evolved as a result of the biological need for mating with a range of partners, while Romantic Love is a sign of a focus on mating with one partner only and attachment is a result of a biological need to pair in order to raise one’s offspring.
Perhaps that point of view agrees with you, and I fully respect that. However, numerous couples choose not to have children. Their relationships are not about reproduction. They want to be together for the sake of being together, that’s all. The number of such couples is constantly growing: opposite sex, same sex – you name it. Would we tell them that they are not in love because they don’t populate the planet? Of course not! Of course they love each other, and there is no doubt about that.
Yes, the neurochemicals and emotions associated with them are present when we embrace our partner, touch her/his hand, kiss the beloved lips and close our eyes with happiness – but those are not Love. Those are chemical reactions in our body. That’s what they are. Calling them Love is a huge understatement and frankly a scientific mistake. There are people who crave hamburgers in a similar way (I’m not saying they want to have sex with them. I’m saying they WANT them more than anything else: right here, right now). And once they get their longed-for hamburger, they close their eyes with happiness when their lips touch it for the first time.
Yep. The chemical reactions and emotions associated with them kick in when we experience something (or someone) with our senses, up close or from afar. No questions about that. But – is this Love?
You may shake your head at this moment, shrug your shoulders and add, “Science deals with intellect, while Love is a matter of heart. We don’t think Love into existence. We feel Love, and that’s how it comes to life”.
Interestingly enough, you might have a point there. And, interestingly enough, you might be right and wrong at the same time.
Before we come to any conclusions, let us explore the topic of Love in more depth before we establish what we want to, or need to, feel or think about Love.
Some of us fear Love. Some of us expect that finding someone to love will resolve our problems. Some treat Love as a step to personal growth. Others don’t believe in Love, and only settle for sex.
Let’s not close our eyes and ears to anything that is new to us, unusual or perhaps challenging our views in some way.
Let’s see. Let’s hear.
Let us be open and loving when it comes to the topic of Love.
According to the ancient wisdom of the Master Teachings of Hope, Love is a powerful energy that flows freely between us and through us. We share that energy not only with our loved ones, but also with our environment. Love is one of the energies affecting the world AND one of the internal processes that we all go through, sooner or later – at one point or another.
There are 7 aspects to the energy of Love: Joy, Acceptance, Lowliness (as in being humble), Equality, Surrender, Equilibrium and Reconciliation. These qualities of the Universal Love pamper our Romantic Love on a daily basis.
Love and happiness go hand in hand. You never suffer because of Love. You only suffer when your expectations are not being met – whatever they might be.
Love is a growing process, there is nothing finite about Love and loving.
The only thing that will never change is that Love IS power. Lack of Love IS lack of power.
Let us love. Let us be loved. And let us be Love.
About the author: Johanna Kern is a transformational teacher and multiple award-winning author of “365 (+1) Affirmations to Create A Great Life”, “Secrets of Love for Everyone”, “Master and the Green-Eyed Hope”, etc. She practices and shares the Master Teachings of HOPE, helping people to find their own power and progress in all areas of life. Her story received international attention, winning praise by readers in North America and Europe, and endorsement by three world-renowned experts: Stanley Krippner, Ph.D., Jerry Solfvin, Ph.D., and Brian Van der Horst.