First of all
If you are feeling fear at this moment, you need to make a decision. When you have relaxed and can explore, you will want to know more clearly what the scary portions of your life represent for you. Right now, you need to: Either, stop resisting and let yourself feel the fear-without judgment-as the first step in preparing to discover what it is all about for you and what you want to do. Shift your attention into a more positive direction using deep breathing, meditation and positive affirmation. Either choice will help you relax and cease struggling. But bear in mind that emotional healing requires that the feelings be felt as part of the process of clearing and resolution. That moment cannot be put off forever. When you allow yourself to feel without judgment you have moved into the now and a very large portion of the emotional charge will be released immediately. Explore the specific fear and deal with it. Be alert to your own resistance. Even on a positive track you will certainly experience it, most commonly with discouraging thoughts that tell you can’t change the situation, or that past failures will be repeated. The first thing to change is those thoughts. It is inner change, which precedes outer changes in your life. Begin the exercises. They will help you regardless of what you believe to be the cause of your distress.
Exercises for Clarity, Integration and Strength.
After the immediate steps you take to release yourself from fear-such as deep breathing, it is usually helpful to become more conscious of how you were thinking before the fear took hold. Exercises are offered here to help you understand how you have been constricting yourself and your perceptions-and what is needed to set yourself free. The exercises are intended to help you uncover the beliefs, the thinking/feeling/imaging patterns which trigger your fear and to remind you of the effective ways you have dealt with fears in the past.
To identify your own worst fear, answer the following questions for yourself: In what areas of my life do I feel the least sense of personal power? Who or what do I give that power to?
How can I take it back?
To explore a particular situation that is arousing much anxiety in you, say to a partner, « With regard to _____, I’m afraid that____. »
Say or write at least ten things.
Take a deep breath before each statement. When you feel as though you’ve said everything there is to say, take another deep breath and say, « And most of all I’m afraid that ____! »
This exercise is extremely useful in bringing clarity where there is a cloud of anxiety and confusion. The information brought forth is likely to surprise and even reassure you. Clarity as to what you have feared will enormously reduce the level of fear. Affirmations can be created to deal with the situation when you are clear about it. You may end up saying, « Oh, if that’s what the problem is, I know I can handle that! »
Some of my fears are tapes of feelings that somebody else once felt. Who?
What is the story of that person’s fear?
What does it have to do with me-if anything?
(a) My usual ways of reacting to fear are_______. Brave denial? Avoidance? Provocation? Attack?
(b) My most effective experiences or methods of dealing with fear in the past have been ____.
Ultimately, the answer to this question becomes feeling the fear and facing it, going through what has been avoided and discovering your strength through experience.
Positive beliefs that have helped me through life; strengths I can draw upon. (List them)
For example: I always have what I need. There is always a solution. I’m a strong person.
Another way to do this exercise is to simply list your positive achievements of the past year, and do it every year. My positive achievements of this past year were:
Assign a positive affirmation to your right (or dominant) hand and state it as you make a gesture with that hand. Let the left hand state the opposition, whatever comes to mind. If no opposition comes to mind, repeat the affirmation with the right hand. Continue until there is no opposition. You will be amazed how well this works.
Working with the Dark Side of the Self.
These exercises can be used over and over as you work your way through different fears. They will also reveal your progress.
FIRST, IMAGINE YOURSELF FULL OF THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT YOU CAN IMAGINE. BREATHE DEEPLY. ASK YOUR HIGHER SELF AND THE DIVINE CHILD WITHIN TO HELP YOU. ASK FOR INFORMATION TO IDENTIFY YOUR SHADOW SIDE. THE INFORMATION MAY COME PIECEMEAL. IT MIGHT TAKE A WEEK TO GET A FAIRLY COMPLETE PICTURE OF WHAT YOU CAN FACE AT THIS TIME. KEEP RE-ESTABLISHING YOUR CONNECTION WITH THE LIGHT. IT IS LIGHT PENETRATING DARKNESS, WHICH BRINGS PERSPECTIVE ON THAT WHICH HAS BEEN HIDDEN FROM CONSCIOUSNESS. IT IS ALSO WILLINGNESS TO WALK INTO THE DARK-METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING.
You may find it helpful to frame the question in many different ways.
What have I avoided?
What have I feared?
What has showed up in dreams?
What seems to be chasing me?
What seems to be missing in my life? (There is always a reason.)
The following series of questions have been found very helpful. You have permission to copy this page and use these questions over and over. The answers will vary with the situation.
What I fear most in my life right now is _______.
My repetitive thoughts and feelings about this are ________.
What I do when I’m afraid is _____.
What happens in my body is _____.
I have used this fear in my life to avoid _____ and to justify (doing/thinking/feeling) _____.
If I were to try and make what I most fear happen on purpose, I would _____. List ten things and note how many of them you are actually doing.
If I were free of my fear, I would be (doing) _____ in my life right now. Give yourself plenty of time to answer.
Write your story in four ways. This is well worth the time and effort and can be extremely effective in helping you to shift out of the initial viewpoint into one that is more empowering and compassionate both towards yourself and anyone else involved. Here are the four versions of your story:
As your sad tale-the victim version.
As seen from some other person’s point of view who was there.
As seen by your Higher Self.
As an empowering experience for you. In this last one, imagine that the experiences of your fears have led you in exactly the right direction and strengthened you in just the perfect ways and in perfect timing so you can achieve your soul’s mission effectively on earth in this lifetime.
What I most want to have happen in this situation is _____________________________________________________. Envision it with as much detail, color, light and emotional energy as you can. Rehearse and empower it. Remember, though, that you do not have the right to create a vision for any other specific being. Put no names or faces into your vision. Work with essence-the kind of relationships and feelings you want to be feeling instead of attempting to achieve specific relationships with people you know.
Create the affirmations which will support your vision and correct your fears.
16 Statements to Check out About Fear.
Read the statements, fill in the blanks, and check the ones, which add useful information for your understanding. Different statements will apply to different fears. Not everything will apply to you.
Hiding or not finding out important information enhances fear. An example of a time when I made myself afraid unnecessarily is when I delayed finding out_______ (Example: How much money do I owe?)
I HAVE CLOSED MY HEART TO ______ AND SO AM FEELING AFRAID THAT ______
I believe I can only be OK if ____________________ _____________________________________________________ (Fear in this case is created by attachment to a third dimensional idea as to what constitutes safety (money, power, control, owning my house, a steady job, keeping my partner, etc.)
__Fear is what I feel when I shorten my breath and tighten my throat, chest, shoulders, stomach and/or abdomen. Sometimes I don’t notice I am doing this. If you consciously relax your body and breath deeply, the fear will usually dissipate.
Fear is present when I’m vague, confused, dishonest, not allowing myself to know exactly how what is going on. An example of when this was happening was _________________ (To shift this kind of feeling, use Exercise 2)
Fear is part of my self-government system. I scare myself into _____
and out of_____
I have felt panic when _____________________________.
The way out of panic is often shifting from feeling to independent thinking (as distinguished from playing old tapes in your head.) Old tapes within those repeat false or inappropriate statements may have caused the panic. They probably don’t apply to your current reality. For example, « I don’t know.... » or ‘I can’t... » when in fact, with some concentration, you do know or you can...
Fear is a cover for anger learned as a child who knew anger must be hidden. As a child I felt fear when _____ ______________________________________________________. But I was really angry at _____________________________.
And I felt _________ about feeling angry.
Fear is the way I tell myself that something important is missing in my awareness or plans.
Fear is my signal to pause and think things over or get better organized. An example of this in my life is/was __________________________________________________________.
Fear is my justification for certain actions, such as ______________________________ and is not necessarily in my best interests in the long run.
Fear is wondering whether I’ll protect myself adequately, knowing I’ve a history of not doing it and haven’t fully committed myself to doing it. (Applies to those with histories of self-destructive behavior.) The cure for this is a firm decision to live and a determined commitment to self-care.
Check if the following is true:
I’m feeling fear because I’m carrying around a card in my back pocket which says, « If things get too bad, I can always kill myself, or go crazy, or get myself put away (in a hospital, prison or mental institution.) » And I haven’t given it up yet.
Note: Nothing will be solved until you do. Too much energy is being diverted from effective problem solving. But once the decision to let go of the threat to the self is made, you will feel much better and able to face and successfully carry out whatever problem solving is necessary.
Fear is my distrust of my ability to go on living unless I’m fighting for my life.
Fear is what I feel when I’ve given my power to the opinions of others.
I hereby take back the power I’ve given to __________ __________________________________________________________.
Fear is a magnet. In accordance with the law of attraction, others who will reinforce my fears or help me « prove » my negative beliefs are drawn to me. An example of this in my life is/was ___________________________________
Fear is what I feel when I’m around someone who is trying to get rid of their scare by scaring me. A time when this happened was _____________________ ________________________________________________________
Giving power to or being attached to, ideas and beliefs about creates fear:
Judgment, competition, hierarchy, scarcity, separation, punishment, conspiracy, retribution, evil, loss, abandonment, loneliness, wrongness, badness, mistakes, death, craziness, sickness, loss of the soul, suffering, struggle, hell, helplessness, powerlessness, danger, authority, secrecy, enemies, secrets, failure, purposelessness, shortages of time, of resources, of energy, of creativity, and so forth.
You will need to search and examine your own mind for the limiting beliefs you have accepted which trigger fear. You can use the affirmation process in the Manifestation workbook to establish new neuronal pathways in your brain.
Ways of Dealing with Fear.
Relax your body. Do whatever it takes to accomplish that; a hot bath, a walk, the right music, a book, which will lift your spirits, calming tea.
Begin a series of deep breaths. Feel your body’s relaxation response. Go into a meditative state. Fill yourself with light. Ask for a higher point of view. Ask your Higher Self for the help you need. Ask for grace.
Consciously bring back to yourself all the energy that you have scattered elsewhere. Bring back the power you have given to others in certain areas of your life. Think of bringing in your maleness regardless of your sex.
Make loud outbreath sounds, huh, huh, huh, while stamping your feet like a Maori warrior before battle! This is very, very effective.
Let go of any particular solutions you are clinging to in your mind, especially if you are convinced that the only solutions are ones you don’t want.
Open to other possibilities unknown to you without trying to figure out what they might be. Trust in spirit, not in externals for your safety.
Move into a different physical position or get physically active.
Make loud sharp sounds to break up the fear cloud around you. Intuitively you will know exactly what sounds to make. Have the intention of setting yourself free. This can be very effective, especially if you have a private place such as your car to do it. Breathe deeply. Do this whenever you are « in your stuff. »
Call a friend to be with you or talk with you on the phone.
Take a shower and consciously imagine it as a clearing process. For example, you may have caught yourself obsessing fearfully about your financial future. Brush your hair vigorously to help clear your aura, then take a shower and wash your hair. Think of the water as clearing unwanted thoughts from your energy field. Replace them with light and with your positive affirmations.
Let somebody’s humor make you laugh. See if you can imagine the situation you’ve been in as a comedy without discounting yourself. Consider renting a humorous video.
Give yourself an experience of pleasure.
Get into the present moment, the power of the Now. Move out of dwelling on the past (« If only... ») or future (« What if.) »
Imagine any emotional cords from other people, which are attached to your chakras as being gently released and floating away. This will help you feel much lighter and will clear your aura of any fear which do not belong to you. It is very easy to pick up other peoples’ fears without realizing it as long as you carry any fear of your own to which it can attach. Remember nothing can attach to you that have no corresponding resonance within you.
Consciously shift into self-nurturing, caring for your inner child self. This will result in a change of body position, breathing and thinking patterns. Give yourself extra loving care and nurturing no matter what you do.
It is possible to shift your fear into excitement. They are two sides of the same coin so to speak. Imagine a great pot of water that is slowly getting warmer and warmer. The bubbles are rising. More and more of them are coming up to the surface. Finally the water boils. What are you feeling now?
Get more information. In almost any situation of fear, obtaining more information is helpful.
Create a detailed fantasy of a positive outcome. Review it in a meditative frame of mind each day.
The other option, the one that is different from trying to avoid or shift a feeling is to accept your feelings and ride them. Let them flow through you like the wind. Thank them for what they are teaching you. Be a detached observer. Send love to your fears.
Do not resist or try to actively change them. A natural shift will occur when you cease to struggle.
Then move into your creativity. Make a picture or music or poem or write your feelings in a journal. Let your creative energy flow. Let every voice within you be expressed from the fearful to the helpful.
Ask for help in dreams. Write them down and work with them. Assume that everything in your dream is a part of you, even if disguised. Be each part. Have each part say how it feels and what it wants. Let them talk with each other honestly. A solution can usually be found in which every part gets what it truly wants.
Avoid any form of self-criticism for outcomes of your risks or experiences. You are not to be abused inside for what you are learning.
Separate the layers of feelings so you know if you are feeling more than one emotion, for example, fear of fear; guilt or anger about feeling fear. Identify the layers and name the feelings so you know exactly what you are dealing with. This dissolves a lot of the struggle immediately.
Examine the beliefs that led you to the scare. Create the affirmations needed to change them. Use the affirmations to keep your life focused on what you want, not on what you don’t want.
Imagine that you created this situation deliberately. What do you have to gain or learn from it? What is the lesson?
How can it be viewed as a positive happening?
Be willing to give up any attachment to being seen as a victim. Be willing to give up being stroked (given sympathy or extra attention) for being a victim or using victimhood as an excuse for sorry-for-yourself feelings, actions or avoidance’s. This can be a major change.
Be willing to give up seeing others as victims. You can still decide to help whoever you want to without using a one-up position. Set the boundaries you want around your personal time/space. Learn to firmly say, « no, I don’t choose to » as needed, without defensiveness (victim story) or explanations.
Allow yourself to risk and feel OK about that. Decide not to let fear alone be the basis of any decision whether to do something or not do something.
Give yourself any needed permission you did not get from important authority figures in childhood. For a healthy, happy life you need internal permission to exist, to act, to honor your feelings, to think for yourself, to feel sexy, to be the sex you are, to make mistakes, to be a success (and feel good about it), to take time and space for yourself, to ask for help, and so on, whatever your inner child needs to hear.
Write a dialogue among all the parts of yourself with thoughts and feelings about this fearful situation. Include your Higher Self. Ask every internal part to say what it feels and wants. Continue the dialogue among the parts until all have agreed on what they want.
This will happen more easily than you may expect. There is wisdom in every part of you, even the ones you have thought were obstructive. They are simply trying to bring your attention to something important, some aspect of your greater self. You will feel the relief of clarity.
You do not have any internal enemies, only portions of the self who may be obeying outdated instructions or holding to distorted perceptions/beliefs from long ago.
Imagine being what you most fear, the person, the energy or a symbol of the power you have given away. Feel yourself restored to a sense of power by reintegrating this powerful energy, this part of yourself. This is most easily done in dreamwork, by being all the parts in the dream.
Write down three pages of stream of consciousness about how you feel first thing in the morning. Use handwriting, not your computer Recall a moment in the past when you felt very powerful and happy. Enhance that. Get fully into it. Then allow that power and happiness to give you a new perspective on your current situation.
Review your past successes and achievements. List them and give yourself lots of credit and love for what you have done.
GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT FEAR.
The universal truth that we are all magnificent beings of light and powerful creators is not easy to swallow when you are feeling like a victim. You may need to play with the concept that you create your own reality as a hypothesis and simply discover, from your experiences and experiments, the enormous power you have. It is what you believe and focus upon that determines what comes into your life. This is the central point to understand.
If you have accepted the basic idea that you can create what you want but don’t see how to make it work for you.
The fact is that much of the process of dealing with fear is a matter of giving up victim hood and mastering conscious creation from the inside out. If your fear is of an outer event in the future, then look to see what you have focused upon inside. You may prevent the event you don’t want by focusing upon what you do want. Shift your focus.
If you are unsure about what you want and clear about what you do not want, ask for assistance from your Higher Self and use the exercises in this workbook. This kind of situation usually means a need for some kind of emotional healing. It is following your excitement that guides you on your spiritual path. If your feelings are not easily available to you, some kind of emotional healing is needed to allow them to come more clearly into your consciousness. It is better to ask for help in any case, as you seek the path of greatest fulfillment.
Fear as a feeling of separation.
In essence, fear is cause by a sense of separation from the universal life and loving spirit in which all of physical and non-physical manifestation is One. There are no exceptions to this. Learn to take note when you are feeling separate, whether from other people, nature, God or spirit. To be free of fear, you will need to be willing to allow different beliefs and concepts into your mind. This feeling of separation is a false perception built into third density experience but one you are capable of moving beyond. As earth moves through her ascension process we are all clearing fear from our systems and making room for more light, love and trust. Sometimes the clearing will take the form of physical illness.
Fear of our power, fear of enlightenment.
« Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. »
Fear of lack of love or light.
Fear comes when you forget that light is a thousand times more powerful than darkness.
And love is the most powerful force in the universe. If you attempt to solve a problem in an unloving way, either by not loving yourself, or by using unloving communications with another, you will probably feel fear. This is because self-betrayal is involved. If you balk at looking into the dark side of a situation, you will feel fear. This kind of fear disappears when you move straight into the unknown, willing to see and know what is there. The heart of the unknown is light even if you have to go through darkness to find it.
Fear caused by giving away your power.
Be aware of any area of selfhood in which you have given away your sense of personal power, whether to another person, the other sex, the government, a religion, a philosophy, the ETs, or a credit card company! You are a sovereign entity, responsible for what you create, with access to unlimited love, power and wisdom. At this time on Earth, you are in process of bringing all the parts of yourself home to integrate them. The powerful being you are can live without struggle and effort.
Fear caused by accepting negative or limiting beliefs.
Fear can be caused by lack of trust in yourself. It can be caused by seeing others as potential victims (not trusting the divinity within them), fearing loss, forgetting the bigger picture in which all is divine, not setting personal boundaries, and so forth.
These are all examples of the results of accepting some kind of negative/limiting belief. In that area of life, it seems that fear is unavoidable. « Proofs » of this will be in your mind but what you have forgotten is that the « proofs » were collected after the decision to view yourself or the world in a certain way, usually in childhood; perhaps in a previous life. This can be changed with a redecision. Fear is, in 99 cases out of 100, created by the way you are thinking/believing and has no basis in immediate external reality.
The exception is when you are dealing with something already set in motion by your beliefs or a previous soul level agreement, or your current focus of consciousness. If so, then you need to remember your power is always in the Now and you can change any experience by changing your state of being (deep breathing and a new focus of attention, for example) which will automatically shift your perception and experience.
It is quite possible to see something positively that you had previously interpreted in a negative way.
Each of us has the ability and responsibility to control not the external world but the internal one. That applies to where you place your attention, what you think, what you believe, what you fantasize. This is how you create your personal reality. You cannot control the feelings, thoughts or actions of others, nor do you have that responsibility.
That means that the temptation to manipulate others or control events in your external world is based on fear and a misinterpretation of where your power lies. The changes you want cannot be achieved through such manipulation.
You are not responsible for making others feel good. They will, however, automatically feel lifted if you have taken responsibility for your own good feelings and expressed them. On the other hand, you will not feel good if you intentionally do things, which you know will hurt or provoke. And such actions draw similar events to you from others through the law of attraction.
You are always responsible for your intent, loving or not, conscious or unconscious. You are responsible for finding and expressing the happiness, which is inherently within you. You cannot place the responsibility for that upon anyone else.
Other people do not have the power to make you feel good or bad, unless you give that power to them. You can choose to respond rather than react as you gradually heal the inner wounds that provide buttons for others to push. Infants, young children and the elderly are vulnerable because they do depend upon you. The power of their beliefs for them and yours for you still operates, though.
As a sovereign expression of divinity, you have access within yourself to unlimited joy, abundance, love, knowledge and creativity. You are never alone. You always have access to loving assistance from your Higher Self or other wise beings in the non-physical realms in addition to your personal resources. In other words, you are responsible for creating happy or unhappy experiences and asking for help when you need it. Remember that humans frequently choose to learn through drama and fear is often frozen excitement!
All of your outer life is a reflection of your inner life. It is only by making an inner change that you will be able to obtain an outer one. Do that before you take action in the outer world. There is only Now. Your experience of the past and future are created from the present moment. Bring all of your energy focus back into the Now. This is where you have power to heal, to make changes and to create. Is there anything to fear in this moment?
Remember the Oneness. Everyone and everything is part of you and you are a part of them. Send unconditional light, love and acceptance to the landlord, the bill collectors, the angry spouse, the viruses in your body, or whatever appears in your dreams. They are all reflections of portions of your consciousness or they would not be in your life. Remember love. The secret of life is in learning to love all of yourself. That means the whole world and then the whole universe. Loving, allowing and accepting your own feelings automatically guides you and changes your relationships and manifestations. The ultimate secret of freedom from fear is opening the heart to complete surrender to the Higher Self, learning total trust. The secret of becoming free after feeling fear is moving back into your power, recalling the larger picture, relaxing into higher vibrations, following the guidance from your Higher Self which is always given, and learning to view the situation as your Higher Self might see it. Hold to the positive vision of potential fulfillment for your life which spirit is giving you no matter what is happening. All will be well in the end.
Tous droits réservés – All rights reserved