"I must say, I don't feel very qualified to be a pop star. I feel very awkward at times in the role." ~ Edward de Bono
As we live our lives, we have the option of playing a lot of different roles. Some we choose.
Some, we just seem to slide into, like the role you played in your family. We assume these roles either consciously or inadvertently because of our desire to remain balanced. Some people become Caregivers to their parents when they sense the weakness in them. Some people become the Top Athlete so they can achieve for their parents. Some become Managers because they see the full picture and can organize others. Some become Heroes in an effort to always "do it right" and make up for the parents' failures.
I know of one First Child who had very high expectations created for her early in her life. She had to help her dysfunctional mother raise the other four children. She became bossy and earned their dislike, but her mother was happy. The young girl had become a Caregiver and it took her quite a bit of therapy work to shake off that role because, naturally, she carried it into her marriage.
Carrying these roles we play into adulthood can create problem for both us and our adult family and friends. Because of our role, we suppress the other facets of Self that we truly would like to express. But it's not a life-long sentence: we can change our role and the behaviors that go along with it.
If you identified with a role I've mentioned, regardless of which one it was, it's important that you get in touch with how you really think and feel about things. Inside each of us is the baby we once were in all its magnificent potential. What does Baby Joseph or Baby Jasmin still have to express? If you find yourself in this kind of a situation, just ask yourself "What does the Baby Me
(the potential inside urging me to release it into expression) really think and feel about this situation? What can I do to make the Baby Me's voice heard? And what is it that makes me afraid to step out of my old role?"
I can tell you without any hesitation that when you change the way you respond, think and act by stepping out of an old role, the people around you may react. It's okay. They'll soon get to know the true you, and they'll learn to respect the new choices you are making.
It isn't required that you "stay the same" and remain in the same role for the rest of your life. You
can decide right now what the new role you'd like to assume is called, ease yourself into it, and live a happier, healthier and more whole life. You can decide to "Be the Change" you so desire and be satisfied for your decision.
"The mind cannot long act the role of the heart." ~ François de la Rochefoucauld