People spend a lot of energy pursuing love, approval and appreciation. Thinking that once found, it will make them whole, complete and give them peace. Does it?

I've noticed that when I seek love or approval it is elusive and hard to find. The pursuit itself leaves me feeling insecure, unloved or lacking in some way. Why is that? The more I want it, the less I find. If searching for something outside of myself leaves me aching then perhaps the solution isn't outside but within. Do I really believe that someone else is the answer? If I had love and approval would I feel whole, loved and worthy of goodness? Do I seek money, success, and approval from others because I am measuring myself with society's ruler ? I've been taught that if I achieve certain things I will be happy and what I've learned is, it's not true.

I notice my thoughts now. The thoughts full of fear, that I am unlovable and I see that's false. I have been loved, I am loved, but I've not always loved myself. When I don't love myself I project that onto every experience I have. I make myself miserable. Ironic that I recieve more of the feelings I don't want. When I correct my thinking, and lack nothing because I appreciate everything something wonderful happens. I feel whole and at peace. I love... myself, others, the world as it is. Needing approval from someone else is a distraction keeping me from giving it to myself. If I blame something outside myself, or think the answer is out there, I avoid doing my own inner work. I'm not accepting responsibility for my thoughts and beliefs.

Thoughts create my sense of identity and the world I perceive. I am not my thoughts, unless I choose to believe them, then they become how I respond or react to the world. When I notice them I have an opportunity to course correct, to discard them as false. I don't have to accept or project any negative beliefs.

3 steps to course correct:

I notice my thoughts, especially when I feel upset.

Is it me projecting my fear, insecurity...... ? Look behind the thought, recognize any emotion, what is under that?

I notice how I feel when I believe my thoughts, do I want to feel this?

When I observe this it gives me the opportunity to choose whether I want to accept the thought. If I'm not 100% that the thought is accurate... and it's causing me to feel bad, I ask myself "can I let this go?" Do I want to keep this belief? It's a choice.

Many times I project my own beliefs about myself onto situations and people. If I notice my thoughts then I pause and find the root within myself. I need my own love and approval. When I do it doesn't matter if anyone else agrees, I don't care. It's a funny thing though.... whatever I believe the world usually agrees, it's perception and projection in motion. I'm empowering myself to choose thoughts in kindness, love, acceptance and peace. That is how I want to experience myself and the world. 

Lynn Zambrano

I provide guidance and structure to help empaths, intuitives, and highly sensitive people achieve their goals, and live with more peace and joy in their lives.

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Comment by Lisa Shaw on December 19, 2016 at 10:06am

Hi again, Lynn. I don't know if you saw my previous comment, but please check it. I'd like to forward this to the publishers when you change to an objective 3rd person point of view. Thanks.

Comment by Lisa Shaw on December 12, 2016 at 7:46am

Hi, Lynn.  Thank for your submission.  However, the magazine policy is to publish in 3rd person point of view.  Can you reframe this objectively so it's more of an informative piece than a [personal reflection? Thank you!

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