People spend a lot of energy pursuing love, approval and appreciation. Thinking that once found, it will make them whole, complete and give them peace. Does it?
I've noticed that when I seek love or approval it is elusive and hard to find. The pursuit itself leaves me feeling insecure, unloved or lacking in some way. Why is that? The more I want it, the less I find. If searching for something outside of myself leaves me aching then perhaps the solution isn't outside but within. Do I really believe that someone else is the answer? If I had love and approval would I feel whole, loved and worthy of goodness? Do I seek money, success, and approval from others because I am measuring myself with society's ruler ? I've been taught that if I achieve certain things I will be happy and what I've learned is, it's not true.
I notice my thoughts now. The thoughts full of fear, that I am unlovable and I see that's false. I have been loved, I am loved, but I've not always loved myself. When I don't love myself I project that onto every experience I have. I make myself miserable. Ironic that I recieve more of the feelings I don't want. When I correct my thinking, and lack nothing because I appreciate everything something wonderful happens. I feel whole and at peace. I love... myself, others, the world as it is. Needing approval from someone else is a distraction keeping me from giving it to myself. If I blame something outside myself, or think the answer is out there, I avoid doing my own inner work. I'm not accepting responsibility for my thoughts and beliefs.
Thoughts create my sense of identity and the world I perceive. I am not my thoughts, unless I choose to believe them, then they become how I respond or react to the world. When I notice them I have an opportunity to course correct, to discard them as false. I don't have to accept or project any negative beliefs.
3 steps to course correct:
I notice my thoughts, especially when I feel upset.
Is it me projecting my fear, insecurity...... ? Look behind the thought, recognize any emotion, what is under that?
I notice how I feel when I believe my thoughts, do I want to feel this?
When I observe this it gives me the opportunity to choose whether I want to accept the thought. If I'm not 100% that the thought is accurate... and it's causing me to feel bad, I ask myself "can I let this go?" Do I want to keep this belief? It's a choice.
Many times I project my own beliefs about myself onto situations and people. If I notice my thoughts then I pause and find the root within myself. I need my own love and approval. When I do it doesn't matter if anyone else agrees, I don't care. It's a funny thing though.... whatever I believe the world usually agrees, it's perception and projection in motion. I'm empowering myself to choose thoughts in kindness, love, acceptance and peace. That is how I want to experience myself and the world.