Who are YOU? Defining YOU through Spiritual Partnerships

Who are YOU? Not you who is male or female, Latin or European, dark or light, daughter or son, but the you who is your Spiritual self, your "Is-ness".

You are the dreamer, the lover, the healer, the silly happy one, the visionary, and the mystic each is within us all.


Who are YOU? Who you are is defined by our relationships not only with others we are in born into, create, or work with, but also the one within us, and above us. Each person, connection or energy exchange is an opening of the self, another facet emerging from our heart. It doesn't matter if the relationship is a reason, season or lifetime if an imprint is left, discovered or unveiled, it is a "Spiritual Partnership" - a union of Spirits.


Your Is-ness is defined by these relationships and who you allow yourself to be in them. As we go through our personal journey of life and are afforded another day, more of  who we are emerges and either we're hiding from our true selves or we are aligning it. Everyone in human form has struggles, challenges, painful situations, loss and failure which inspires and motivates to continue moving forward until we leave this body or are taken from it. Life revolves around every relationship we have and it is up to us to decide if we allow it to be a blessing or battle. Being in relationships with others teach as external teachers while our relationship with our internal self is how we react based on whether we listen to our Spirit self or not. Is-ness is the Spirit self, the one that guides you, listens, and is based in your heart not your head; the one that is your present moment voice, not the ghosts of the past or the future tripper.


Spiritual partnerships are the why we are here to evolve as human beings it is why we create future generations to carry on love, lineage, and legacies. They can define or destroy depending on the perspective you choose to hold about what these connections bring to or through us. If we are willing to be committed to these compassionate connections with others, ourselves, allow Spirit to align within us, and accept the life we have, then we can have happy, harmonious, and healthy encounters.


"Under [This] teaching, every relationship becomes a lesson of love."

A Course in Miracles


The many masks we wear in life are often how we identify ourselves, the work we do, our culture, our ethnicity, or sexual nature yet it is our Is-ness, our spiritual selves that our depth, love, intuition, judgments, pain & fear reside. The masks become shields to hide the parts we don't want to reveal, hold shame, embarrassment or wounds.  The commitment it takes to connect to your Is-ness, others, and Spirit is against what you have been conditioned away from therefore it is courage that pushes you toward it.  Courage means "the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery" thus removing the masks requires a level of commitment.  


Where are you holding yourself back? Where are you afraid to shine? What's really stopping you?

The reasons why, the excuses, the distractions become tools we use to keep the comfort of compliance, to stretch the Self would feel like a betrayal yet here is where courage can step in and push you beyond the comfort.


A quick check in exercise to determine your level of connection, courage and commitment is T. A. P. (Time. Attention. Prayer.) If you feel apprehensive or afraid this simple exercise will allow the truth to be revealed. Give yourself a timeout by closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths then ask the above questions, allow what comes without editing yourself.  Being truthful to yourself allows your Is-ness to shine and Spirit to reveal itself to you, as well as, connects you to a deeper understanding of your commitment. Here is where you can decide if you are courageous enough to be compassionate with yourself as you are others.  Oftentimes compassion is extended without consideration for the Self yet we want and ask for compassion from the Universe thus in becoming compassion with the Self is the beginning of spiritual partnership.


"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it."

— Ella Wheeler Wilcox


The next spiritual partnership is allowing Spirit to align within by listening to the inner guide, your Is-ness, where intuition, authentic self, and love reside. Willingness with courage is commitment and it is here that you set yourself up for success with persistent practice of compassion. Affirmations, mantras, and positive self - talk are a crucial part of this practice. Begin the day with this easy mantra and allow life to shift accordingly, "Because I love myself, I forgive myself. Thank you God!" (Universe, Higher Self, Holy Spirit - use what connects and appeals to you.) When you feel out of alignment, have judged yourself or others, or spoke negatively about yourself use this mantra to re-align you with your Is-ness. Re-aligning with this practice creates an opening where healing happens and you become centered with your authentic self and is an act of compassion.


"Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail."

— John Donne


We are either setting ourselves up for a battle or a blessing with every thought, action, and reaction to situations, circumstances or experiences. Life is full of challenges and obstacles, which grow or "grave" (inner dying) you. The popular TV show, "The Walking Dead" is full of zombies preparing for the apocalypse yet in reality how many people are walking around in the flesh but not in the Spirit?  That is the real walking dead, living without really living because the mind is caught up in the doom instead of the bloom. Everyday we get to breath is a new beginning and blessing yet many times it is seen as a struggle or curse.


"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, that is why we call it the present."

Science of Mind Magazine, Nov. 2014


If you've ever had the experience of watching someone come to the end of their life who is regretful, you see all, the missed opportunities that slipped through the fingers, the chances not taken, reasons to love instead of judge or hate oftentimes the last breathe is the surrender because the realization that this life is over has become the truth.

Your Is-ness wants to bring you back to life and all you have to do is be willing and ready to let of the "stuff" that keeps you back, stuck or afraid. We are often disappointed or hurt by things that don't deserve our power or energy yet we have convinced ourselves that it does. You can either choose healing or hurting. Hurting is always related to the past yet we bring it to the present by dwelling in it.


Bishop T.D. Jakes said it best, "Don't let your history dictate your destiny."  We are the only one to determine what we create yet is through aligning with Spirit, our Is-ness, it is able to be heard. When you feel out of alignment or afraid a simple practice to use is W.A.I.T., "What I Am Thinking?" to stop and ask that question allows you to make a conscious and compassionate evaluation of whether you are aligning or denying. Try it the next time you feel something has shifted your Is-ness.


"God is not the author of fear. You are." A Course in Miracles


            To take for granted means to literally not see what you have right now. How many times do you wish or want another life or someone else's experience? It is easy to get caught up in the vision we see of other’s lives yet we have no idea what steps where taken, shortcomings or failings, loss or gains it took to get to the point you see. Perception is the way you think or understand someone or something; the ability to notice something or understand easily yet the scope we see is limited to our experiences. Wishing and wanting takes power and sabotages every dream because it already implies you don't have which is a lack mentality. Judgment is synonymous to perception because judgment is based on what we see with our outer eyes not inner truth.  The practice to heal judgment and biased perception is what I call the  "K.I.S.S. method", "Keep It Simply Spiritual", If we can allow ourselves to see with spiritual instead wanting, pained, or envious eyes life begins to heal in amazing ways because we can begin to accept the life we have with gratitude.


"Spirit works on a full-time basis." Iyanla Vanzant


When the life we are given is accepted it blossoms, brightens, and is blessed.  The spiritual partnership created becomes happy, harmonious, and healed yet it takes courage, compassion, and commitment, "when the student is ready the opportunities, teachers, and experiences align" which in turn becomes a moment - by -moment daily life practice. Lastly, anything that becomes a belief must first be a practice then a habit which creates the feeling of trust in the worth or that something is good, right, and valuable.

Life is full of spiritual partnerships and all we have to do is be willing to experience them first within ourselves as Is-ness, others and with Spirit.


"The diamond cannot be polished without friction nor man perfected without trials."

Chinese Proverb


By Tonya Melendez, RScP, CYT



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