Why Focusing On Your Desires May Be Keeping You From What You Want

Abstract: This article talks about what happens when we think we are using our powers of manifestation but are actually falling into a trap by getting very attached to the way things need to show up. Many times need turns into lack vibration which is highlighted in order to help readers become aware of this and let go of attachments to how our desires have to show up for us, and thus leave us in a better space to allow them to come in.

When we are working with the laws of the universe to create what we want in our lives, we are taught to get clear on our desires and how we want to feel when we get them so that we can become an energetically vibrational match to them . Because when we are an energetic match, we are in a state of allowing them to come into our experience.

Yet sometimes, as when consciously using the Law of Attraction in order to manifest what we want, we can find that it just doesn’t seem to be working. We are ultra clear on what we want and just as clear on how we want to feel about it.

Or so we think.

What we sometimes forget to watch for is our sneaky wanna be friend called attachment.

Attachment sidles up to us thinking it’s doing us a favor by keeping us connected to our desires. When in fact that “connection” is a very fine line between knowing what we desire and then wanting it so badly that it changes the vibration of the desire.

A lot of times desire pushes us into lack vibration without us even realizing it. While desire is a great manifestation tool, it must, however, come with very little attachment.

Attachment carries with it a vibration that can throw the energy of what we want off track.

Built into attachment is need, and when we attach a need to our desires that can move us into lack vibration. Because the energy surrounding need is really energy of “I want something really badly that I do not have yet.” Aka lack.

Since like attracts like, if we are in lack vibration we will ultimately attract more lack.

For example, when there is a person we may want to attract into our life, whether it be a soul mate, a business partner or simply some new tribe mates to have some fun with, we can begin to become acutely aware of their NON presence in our lives the more we desire to have them.

And when we’re looking for the experience with those people to fulfill something within us, it turns into a need. And when we are aware of not only the need but also of the fact that it is not being met, our energy wraps itself around the absence of what we want.

So very simply put, our energy is vibrating in that space of absence.

And for all of the love the universe has for us, it is merely responding to our energy. Not the thoughts in our heads regarding how happy we would be once we have this or that but what is emanating through our energy when all is said and done.

That is why it is so important to gauge where our energy lies in regards to what we want. And then further to move our energy into our heart center via trust and belief that what we desire will ultimately come to us, albeit it may not be on our exact timeline.

And when we can move that trust and knowing into our heart center, it leaves little room for neediness and attachment.

Some coaches do not like the word detachment as it can imply lack of feeling altogether. But rather un-attachment serves as a better way to conceptualize it.

So we can say to ourselves, “I would really love to find a new strategic partner for my business “ and then get clear on the essence of what that person would be like and further UNattach from when and how that person will show up in our experience.

When it comes to manifesting our desires, it is up to us to get clear on what it is we want and then why we want it (the feeling state) and then to actually let that all go (release attachment to it) so that we are truly open and in a state of allowing for the universe to take care of the when and the how.

When we take it upon ourselves to attach to the when and the how our manifestations should arrive and appear, we are setting ourselves up for need and ultimately lack.

There is nothing at all wrong with getting clear on our desires and even making them specific if we feel the need to, but then those specifics must be released to the universal forces at work so we can stay open to all of the beautiful possibility and the many avenues of delivery there are.

Our work is to use desire to our advantage and then remain un attached to those desires in order to truly receive what we want.

Heather is a Certified Law of Attraction Personal Life Coach and Reiki Master Teacher. She works with clients on throwing out their head trash. She teaches how negative and fearful thinking lowers our energy and thus attracts unwanted things, people and experiences into our lives. Heather guides people to live by choice, rather than as a product of our thoughts. She believes our natural state is one of well being and lights a path to that place for clients and students. Her mission is to be the change, help others with the change and thus change the world. Heatheroneillcoaching.com, facebook.com/LifecoachHeather.

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Comment by Heather O'Neill on March 9, 2017 at 5:48pm

Hi Lisa,

Here is the revised article and bio. Thanks again for your input!

When we are working with the laws of the universe to create what we want in our lives, we are taught to get clear on our desires and how we want to feel  when we get them so that we can become an energetically vibrational match to them . Because when we are an energetic match, we are in a state of allowing them to come into our experience.  Yet sometimes, as when consciously using the Law of Attraction in order to manifest what we want, we can find that it just doesn’t seem to be working. We are ultra clear on what we want and just as clear on how we want to feel about it. Or so we think.

What we sometimes forget to watch for is our sneaky wanna be friend called attachment. Attachment sidles up to us thinking it’s doing us a favor by keeping us connected to our desires. When in fact that “connection” is a very fine line between knowing  what we desire and then wanting it so badly that it changes the vibration of  the desire.  A lot of times desire pushes us into lack vibration without us even realizing it. While desire is a great manifestation tool, it must, however, come with very little attachment.

Attachment carries with it a vibration that can throw the energy of what we want off track. Built into it is need, and when we attach a need to our desires that can move us into lack vibration.  Because the energy surrounding need is really energy of “I want something really badly that I do not have yet.”  Aka lack.  Since like attracts like, if we are in lack vibration we will ultimately attract more lack.

For example, when there is a person we may want to attract into our  life, whether it be a soul mate, a business partner or simply some new tribe mates to have some fun with, we can begin to become acutely aware of their NON presence in our lives the more we desire to have them.  And when we’re looking for the experience with those people to fulfill something within us, it turns into a need. And when we are aware of not only the need but also of the fact that it is not being met, our energy wraps itself around the absence of what we want. So very simply put, our energy is vibrating in that space of absence.

And for all of the love the universe has for us, it is merely responding to our energy. Not the thoughts in our heads regarding how happy we would be once we have this or that but what is emanating through our energy when all is said and done.  That is why it is so important to gauge where our energy lies in regards to what we want. And then further to move our energy into our heart center via trust and belief that what we desire will ultimately come to us, albeit it may not be on our exact timeline.  And when we can move that trust and knowing into our heart center, it leaves little room for neediness and attachment.

Some coaches do not like the word detachment as it can imply lack of feeling altogether. But rather un-attachment serves as a better way to conceptualize it. So we can say to ourselves, “I would really love to find a new strategic partner for my business “ and then get clear on the essence of what that person would be like and further  UNattach from when and how that person will show up in our experience.

When it comes to manifesting our desires, it is up to us to get clear on what it is we want and then why we want it (the feeling state) and then to actually let that all go (release attachment to it) so that we are truly open and in a state of allowing for the universe to take care of the when and the how.  When we take it upon ourselves to attach to the when and the how our manifestations should arrive and appear, we are setting ourselves up for need and ultimately lack. There is nothing at all wrong with getting clear on our desires and even making them specific if we feel the need to, but then those specifics must be released to the universal forces at work so we can stay open to all of the beautiful possibility and the many avenues of delivery there are. Our work is to use desire to our advantage and then remain un attached to those desires in order to truly receive what we want. 

Heather is a personal life coach and Reiki Master Teacher. She helps clients throw out their head trash. Heather, an empath and intuitive, works on clearing energetic blocks to reclaim personal power through choosing our thoughts rather than our thoughts choosing us. As a certified Law of Attraction coach, Heather has a keen understanding of how to work with the universal laws in order to create lives that unfold as we truly want them to. Heather helps clients go beyond egoic reactions to life’s challenges and to see them from the broader perspective of the high self which enables us to experience the most growth.

Comment by Heather O'Neill on March 7, 2017 at 9:45pm

OK thanks Lisa.

Comment by Lisa Shaw on March 7, 2017 at 7:54am

Hi, Heather.  Thanks for this article.  I am the Spirituality editor for OM Times and as such, I am asking you to reconsider the paragraphing of this article.  You have It has many paragraphs and feels like a list rather than a flowing series of paragraphs.  Can you please edit to combine paragraphs?  Also , it would help if your bio had more specific information (think resume) rather than a mission statement. (for example, where you're located, specific training, specific practices, etc.)  Please let me know when it's done and I'll forward to the publishers Thank you.

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