Reflection: “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want."
Are you what in an old cliché is called, ‘a worry wart.’ That is the title we bestowed upon kids in school way back in the 1950’s and 60’s who were anxious about every little thing. Those were the ones who never ran around and played at recess. They stood off to the side, heads hung low, hands clasped together stressing over the quiz to take place after lunch; or the black mark on their new sneakers I on the other hand spent every moment of recess I could running, shouting, laughing, climbing, and having fun. I did not give a thimble full of thought to the upcoming quiz, the mark on my new ‘Keds’ or anything that went beyond my favorite subject – recess.
Fast forward to post school years, when everything I could not anticipate and cause to turn out perfectly, in simple terms ‘ate my heart out.’ Do you do that? Do you worry about ‘everything?’ Do you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders; carry the rock of distress upon your chest, so that taking a deep breath is next to impossible? Are you constantly tired to a point of exhaustion? These heavy feelings of worry make smiling a difficult task! I am officially retired from that vein of thinking and feeling now. How about you?
Why o, why o…
Why do human beings worry so? What is the underlying cause of such fret and concern? The short answer is Control. We the people are managers, organizers, directors. Some are micromanagers. We are shown this behavior from the moment of our birth. Everything has to be organized in order for us to come into the world. Even ‘natural’ birth today is as structured as can be. So, we grow to think that the only way to keep ourselves and our families safe; the only way to work in an office environment or a medical establishment is to assume as much control as possible. Nothing can be left to chance, to the unknown. We plan, examine, and arrange. Some of the time this actually works and life appears to move smoothly down the lane. The operative word in the last sentence is ‘appears!’ This need for management is the organization of the outside world. What about within? What happen inside when you worry?
Let’s take a close look at worrying. More often than not we stress over what may come, what has-not-happened yet. Think about this, in a moment of action, there is no worry as we are in motion, doing something. There is no time or space for worry.
Have you ever worried that something will turn out brilliant? This is a good place for that deep, cleansing breath that cleans and clears your thought center; go ahead, I will wait…...Ahhh (exhaling) that was great! Now, do a review of the things that cause you stress. Perhaps even pause long enough to retrieve a pad and pen to create a list. As you give thought to the things that cause you to fret, some may bring to you a chuckle or at the very least, a wry grin. Do you worry when you bake that your creation will be wonderful; or do you fear your soufflé will be flat? When rushing (in spite of planning) to get to an appointment, do you worry that you will get there on time, or, do you worry about traffic congestion, more red lights than green and finding a parking space right away when you arrive at your destination?
Silver Threads© quite often mentions that our world and our interactions are a reflection of that which we are thinking, doing or saying. In that light, the quote above creates a very important question. Are you creating things you do not want by worrying about what has not and may not happen? Your thoughts are things. The energies they produce are magnetic. When you are pleasant, your environment is as such. When you are charitable and kind, these qualities are returned to you tenfold. When darkness and anger are the design of your brow, are your days calm with a natural flow? More often than not these dreary energies produce less than lackluster days that are ringed with explosive interactions, dismissive conversations and a fair amount of self-recrimination!
In the last edition of Silver Threads© the question, “What do you really want?” was asked. Have you taken time out of your hectic schedule to answer this enormous query? Have you shouted out loud, ‘I want more fun and laughter in my life,’ ‘I want everyday to flow like the water in stream,’ or, ‘I want to know peace in my heart and be able to give it in all of my interactions.’ It does not matter what you want as long as you know what it is! If you think about it, you already know what you do not want, and that is often more of the same!
What would happen if you simply gave up worrying? Would the world as you know it truly come to an end? You might be able to sit still long enough to take a deep, cleansing breath. You might hear your own thoughts that are positive and happy and so hidden under a coat of concern that they cannot rise to the surface.
Let’s indulge and take a moment right now, sit still and think about your favorite place to be: are you in a beach chair with your toes dipped in the rolling, blue caress of the ocean, or, on the center seat of a gently swaying bass boat, fishing pole in hand? Perhaps you see yourSelf in the middle of a relaxing massage, or happily watching your favorite movie with popcorn in hand. It does not matter where, the idea here is that you stopped the worry tape that plays in your head, took a moment off and felt good.
Keep in mind that worry affects your body, mind and spirit and it is only through appropriate action that you can dispense with worrying. Be clear as to the path you choose when making decisions as the effects can be far reaching. For example: You want to buy a house, furniture and a car. Cash on hand is too low to pay for all three categories, so you go to the bank and finance with a monthly payment for “x” amount of years. Then, your business due to a failing economy, tanks. The bills still need to be paid. Rather than take immediate action with regard to the bank and the loan, you begin to worry. Eventually your health goes into a downward spiral and now you have added medical bills to the fray. Not only that, you are also less capable of the same work load; therefore your income further decreases! In addition, your family is in the same position of worry. The snowball effect is building! Had you taken positive, action steps at the beginning of the change in your financial status, the need to worry would have been eliminated.
Imagine how you would feel all the time, if you released your obligation to worry and let the things and people in your life simply be who and what they are. Picture you enhancing your decision making skills and action taking cleverness. Just imagine!