Have you noticed as Christmas approaches a certain energy descends on us? Like a mist it silently drifts into our minds and hearts urging us to, connect deeper and appreciate those we love more or act on things we don’t like in our lives, or reflect on times gone by with those who are not around us anymore.
Each year as the decorations go on sale, the weather gets colder and the days shorter, I notice people acting slightly differently including myself, almost in response to a…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on December 21, 2011 at 4:00pm — No Comments
Do we get more mellow as we age making our relationships easier without the need for trips to Relate or more years of self introspection or does the amount of experiences we have mellow our view towards each other?
As much as I loathe to talk numbers, I am 46 next birthday and notice over the years how much life has changed and grown into a really amazing place, quite naturally on some levels just because I have got older.
I am very happy and settled with Joel, my conscious…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on December 12, 2011 at 5:00pm — No Comments
When you think of the word survival what picture comes to mind? Mine looks like a lone battle against something that brings me pain, where I am just existing and managing to get by each day and I am certainly far from happiness and peace.
In relationships (and the clue is in the word!), relating through words and body language is our only means of staying connected to our tribe, community and indeed those close to us. We have to be able to relate to belong and feel felt by…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on November 23, 2011 at 3:00pm — No Comments
Have you ever been asked this question by a partner, past or current when you were feeling upset about something? And did you know what you needed in the moment?
I am noticing lately “what do you need from me?” is carrying more and more significance in my work with couples. It appears to be the principal healer and brain “re-wirer” from the past to a present and future that is more wholesome, fulfilled and connected.
Learning to re-language relationships is fast becoming the…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on November 9, 2011 at 12:41pm — No Comments
What does freedom in a relationship mean to you? And what does giving freedom to your partner feel like?
The second question pushes some of my buttons because I desire for Joel to be ultimately free to be himself and ‘separately connected’ to me (in Imago language), but it also brings up fears around “but if I allow him be that free, what if he leaves me eventually?” Do you recognise this feeling?
We all want freedom but, in truth, don’t want to allow our partners the same…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on September 14, 2011 at 12:32pm — No Comments
Have you ever suffered the emotional knifing of a relationship breakup? Why does it hurt so damn much? Why don’t we say “NEXT!” and smile joyfully as we trip down the road to the Plenty More Fish shop?
The sudden and aching void that forms when your honey, who you thought was your only soul mate, best friend, lover and life companion, gives you the news that “it’s over” can send you down a very dark road.
It can be a period of deep analysis tinged with daily oscillation from…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on August 30, 2011 at 10:30pm — No Comments
Inspired by having coffee at the beach with my beloved’s sister today I felt urged to share my thoughts on where I feel “we are at” in life, the Universe, the here and now, or whatever you choose to call it, in terms of our relationships. This mini blog is an instigator and prodder of inner and outer movement. Don’t continue to read if you are feeling sensitive!
Let me start by asking a few questions about your relationship right now.
Feel the answers that come and don’t…
Added by Gina Hardy on July 5, 2011 at 3:23pm — No Comments
Oh so frequently I hear the cry in girlie gatherings “I feel like I don’t know him, he just won’t talk about his feelings!” Ladies, is this your mantra now or maybe in days gone by? I know I have been there and put myself through painful coercion techniques often born out of desperation because “We need to talk” has been the persistent mind torture.
It’s an interesting path strewn with expectations about how our men “should” be versus our willingness to know what we want and seek it…Continue
Does your relationship slip occasionally or frequently into the tit for tat spat? Don’t you just loathe it!
You say something, which granted may not be languaged that well, and your honey beautifully deflects the perceived criticism that’s about to land like a fly, by pointing out that, in their opinion, you do the same or in fact worse!
That puts our back up (triggers you, in my language), the irritant energy between you raises a few notches, you are compelled to retort and…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on June 12, 2011 at 5:52pm — No Comments
Art is something personal don’t you think? We are all born with the ability to create and become an artist in whatever discipline we choose.
None greater than being your own artist discovering the lifelong shape of who you are. That means always being willing to know and learn about you. It is without exception the greatest journey of your life. It’s about experimenting with experience. It’s not about getting it wrong or right but merely learning about what feels good and what doesn’t…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on May 25, 2011 at 11:05am — No Comments
Staying together for the sake of the kids. A very emotive subject but one I feel compelled to write about.
Firstly, I’m not a parent so don’t shoot me down with the “well what would she really know, she doesn’t have kids.” I hear you but I was a child with parents who existed in unhappiness together for most of their marriage and it really polluted my ability to make sound relationship choices for most of my love career. No question.
My belief is that if you are parents living in…
Added by Gina Hardy on May 16, 2011 at 3:11pm — No Comments
If you were to paint a picture of who you are on the inside, what would you look like?
Most of us spend too much time making the best of our outer facade which is just “dressed” skin, muscle and bone structure at the end of the day. We are perceived blessed by media hype if we are stunning, handsome, beautiful or gorgeous and so disproportional outer emphasis is still intrinsically embedded into our psyche.
But what of the look of your inner world? Think about it. The place…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on May 7, 2011 at 11:44am — No Comments
Most of my lovely couples come to me in relational angst when their bag of long standing coping “tools” has run aground and they have nothing left with which to communicate their feelings and needs in a healthy way.
Many couples just cope, rather than experience deeply fulfilling and nourishing relationships, because they feel, it’s “ better not to rock the boat...”, “it’s easier this way....” “I can’t bear the thought of losing my husband/wife, so I’ll doing anything.....” “well we…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on April 6, 2011 at 1:43pm — No Comments
I love the feeling of writing this because I know I have been a keen watcher of people who have “the eye” over the years. I was indeed many a time on the receiving end of boyfriends past, who had the eye.
I have heard a gazillion times “oh he /she definitely has the eye.” It seemed a common phrase when I was in my 20’s.
Let’s start by defining what I mean by “the eye.” Visualise this scene for a moment.
You are out with your honey at a party. You are having a great…Continue
The purpose of my blog on love and relationships? Well, my life as a spectator is constantly throwing me a vast array of love topics which propel me, often with great speed to my laptop. I love to write, offering up my perspective in a “me, you” discussion and then I like to offer advice as an “experiencer” first, then an educator, on what maybe happening. It’s then up to you and your innate wisdom to take from it what feels right.
Would you do anything for love? And when you find…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on March 16, 2011 at 5:28pm — No Comments
We are in a constant state of change and flux. Are you feeling it? Evolutionary progression is happening every minute and certainly during the last 4 years it feels like the Universe has put her foot on the growth accelerator and we are doing our best to hang on as the changes come thick and fast. Our body’s cells are in a constant state of birth and death and the cycle of life takes us through day and night, good and bad, happy and sad. Phew!
The symptoms of accelerated growth appear…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on February 23, 2011 at 6:29pm — No Comments
I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world. I honour your choices to learn in the way you feel is right for you.
I know it is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others, think you should be. I realise that I cannot know what is best for you, although perhaps sometimes I think I do. I have not been where you have been, looking at life from your view point. I do not know what you have chosen to learn, how…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on January 19, 2011 at 11:48am — No Comments
If you are in a relationship, are you in love or are you with someone who is safe because you can’t bear the thought of being hurt again?
Have you ever had one of those partnerships that bounces your heart about like a beach ball? One that takes you high up on a thrill ride, then plummets you low down, turns your guts inside out and your general well being, hay wire? You feel hooked no matter what you try to do to self rescue. During the bad patches you are all over the place,…Continue
Added by Gina Hardy on January 19, 2011 at 7:57am — No Comments
Happy New Year conscious relationship seekers! I hope your festivities over Christmas and your transition to 2011 was happy and healthy.
Are you ready for this year? I am. An energy of “raring to go” has set in and I want what’s on offer! Blog titles have been flooding from mind to iPhone over Christmas and so to open the flood gates I felt I wanted to ask you one question right before we kick this year off in earnest.
What needs to change in your love life this year…
Added by Gina Hardy on January 18, 2011 at 4:28pm — No Comments
Did you wince at the title of this blog? I did when I typed the words. The effects ricocheted around my body like the ball on a pinball machine and touched memories of times when I have felt this about people I have dated and times when exes have felt it about me.
This blog is not about answers to why we love and then we don’t, because only the Universe can know such secrets. It is merely an exploration of where you maybe at right now with someone you love dearly and how in…Continue