One of the biggest mistakes that we make in relationships is attempting to change the other person. We think that we can shine a turd and turn him into a knight or we mistakenly think that if THEY changed to suit OUR needs we would suddenly have the relationship of our dreams.
It is not our jobs to change those in our lives or mold them into who we want or think they should be. It’s futile and only ends up using up valuable resources that could be better put to use on ourselves.
The following small little adjustments will assist with getting you out of the “man renovation” mindset:
1). The more you focus in on what you don’t want the more of that you will see receive in your relationship. Highlight instead what you enjoy about your beloved or the relationship. If you are having troubles coming up with a few things than I would suggest asking yourself why you are still there.
2). No one is perfect. You are not perfect, he is not perfect, and life is not perfect. But you can be perfectly imperfect together.
3). You rarely can teach an old dog a new trick. As we get older we become exponentially more set in our ways. It’s not that change is IMPOSSIBLE but the likelihood that someone is going to change or otherwise take their cue from you is slim.
4). Relationships suffer greatly when you are taking a microscopic look at your lover or the relationship to avoid turning the scope on yourself. A man (or woman) or a relationship should NEVER be the focal point of your universe. You should be. And if you cannot make yourself come first- learn to make yourself happy- there is not a single soul on this planet that will be able to do it for you.
Next time that you are starting to get upset because they haven’t yet changed their Facebook relationship status, neglected to pick up their socks or otherwise grated on your nerves as yourself whether it’s really worth getting bothered over. Are these acceptable deficiencies or are you striving for something to be upset by or to otherwise try to change about them? Remember that you fell for this person for a reason. Though they are certainly not without flaw, if you attempt to change the very things that make them their imperfect selves you risk realizing you no longer care for the person you attempted to mold them into. Even worse-they realize they would rather be themselves than be cut down and nitpicked.