It's easy to forget that the entire world does not operate with integrity and honesty.  It's easy to get lost in the positive and spiritual aspects of our lives.  I found myself in this place of darkness a few years ago, and have been slowly finding my way out.

I didn't see it happen.  I wasn't aware of the change, until after my life changed.  At that point, I couldn't see what was happening.  It was like a waking nightmare.  It feeds itself, and is a very confusing place to be.

It started with a phone call from my mom.  She had cancer.  She had been to a traditional doctor five times, before they did tests to see what was wrong.  She was losing her breath trying to walk up stairs.  It was too late to operate.  The tumor was wrapped around her aeortic artery and her wind-pipe.

Hence, I fell into a very dark place without realizing it.  I think that we sometime learn via falling into the fire, and struggling to find our way out.  I think that human nature keeps us from grasping the entire situation, until we have moved past denying situations.

I spent years struggling, and wondering why.  My mom eventually died.  She chose her time, and died from an infection before the cancer took her physical life.

Now before I go further, I should share that I knew when she would pass.  I am an intuitive individual.  I think that made it harder, because I thought I had found peace with the events.  I knew my mom was simply changing form from physical to spirit.  What I didn't realize was that every physical being grieves for losses in their lives, no matter how spiritual we have become. 

I learned a big lesson about being a human being.  As I traveled through the dark times, I found that the world became a fearful place.  It is easy to embrace fear, without realizing it has been done.  I think the turning point was a series of misadventures in my own life.

I experienced life stresses such as moving to another state, my mom dying, a new relationship, birth of a child, financial struggles and more.  Each of these issues create a large amount of stress, which is not conducive of a spiritual lifestyle.

I would encourage people going through transitions to reach out to their friends and family (blood or spiritual) for support and encouragements.  It is these people that provide the stability that keeps us from slipping in to darkness, and helps us grow in positive ways.

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

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Comment by Brenda Kay Minor on January 18, 2012 at 12:36pm

I, too, have gone through the death of my mon recently. It was this time last year. I kept her in my home for two years. She was aging and none of my siblings wanted to take care of her, rather chose to place her in a very depressing nursing home. I brought her to live with me and she was not diagnosed with cancer until she had been with me a year and a-half.  We had a wonderful time together sharing lunches out and even going to visit all her health care providers. What taught the most, is that she died exactly two years to the day she first entered my home. I felt God showed me He had given me that time with her, but it was His time for her to go. But, it was still a very dark time for me when she passed and I am still grieving. I am fighting my way out and I feel her presence around me all the time telling me to fight, that she would want me to be happy. I know love and light are truly all around us.

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