Disconnect From Depression/Reconnect To Life By Nancy Oakes


By Nancy Oakes

Depression is an unwelcome guest, robbing the eyes of human beings of sparkle, and causing one to perhaps miss a picnic with friends on a lovely spring afternoon.  Most of us do not want to be alone, or suffer from sadness, and unable to enjoy life.  However, many times we open the door to depression, and allow its entrance into our life experience.

What is depression, and how do we keep it from creeping into our reality?

Could depression be a habit of negative thought processing as most contemporary psychoanalyst suggest?  You may not have intended to use your brain with factors of depression, but early in your childhood, someone a parent, or an early caregiver taught you how to think in a negative pattern by their example. Perhaps with sad eyes they predicted gloom, and doom for you, and the external world you lived in. They may have actually seen their environment as too rainy, too cloudy, too windy, too cold, too hot, not hot enough, therefore the weather was never acceptable. Their food was too spicy, or not spicy enough, and the mustard offered at the neighbor’s backyard celebration was the wrong brand.  And alas, only white bread instead of wheat was offered for the sandwiches, a good reason to never go to your neighbor’s parties again. “How depressing.”

Growing up with constant complaints that nothing is right, life is on drama after another, and there is never enough money.  If there were more money a move to a place with perfect weather like California would be possible.  However, that’s a dangerous place with mudslides, and earthquakes.  Who would want to take a chance, and move to a dangerous place like California?  See the pattern?


The good news is negative thought processing can be unlearned, and its curable. Being aware you are caught up in an old system that someone taught you is the first step. Can you image what an obnoxious behavior this can become, and sounds like to family and friends, or any relationship you may be involved in? You may not have seen yourself as depressed, or dysfunctional because you have been with yourself for a while, and you do not carry a recorder to hear your complaining, and negative comments. However, if you have this behavior this may be the answer as to why your having dinner alone, or worse why she/he does not take your phone calls.

  Recognize the negative behavior, and how it affects those around you.

Negative is not seen as realism...being realistic is seeing things as they really are, not through gloom and doom.


Depression is not an easy driver to get rid of especially if its been allowed to rule your behavior for many years.  The word driver is appropriate here for that is what depression does, it drives healthy human emotion away from our reality.  

Depression is unnatural, and foreign to the human body.  Depression does not belong in a thriving thought system.

 Depression is not like anger, which is necessary for survival.  If the human thought system did not have anger incorporated into (a naturally-a gift from the Creator) we would not have enough energy, or sense to protect ourselves, or our loved ones. Depression deflates, and defuses our feelings, thoughts, and actions causing us to be dulled enough to miss opportunities of joy, and happiness (true human emotion).    There is no benefit to depression, it is not an emotion, it is a driver into sadness and discontent (both human emotions).  

Recognize that depression is not a natural aspect of humanities make-up. 

Depression can become an illness that dulls your life experiences, causing you to miss joyful opportunities.


Fear is another human emotion necessary for survival (a naturally gift) incorporated into the human though process.  Without fear humans would not have, as with anger, the energy or sense to run when in danger, or analyze a dangerous situation-like here comes a grizzle bear.  What do you do when you see a very large bear coming at you, fear will naturally kick in and you run, correct?


Distinguishing between fear, and depression can be as easy as recognizing that fear is for our safety, our survival, not for thought games.  A kind of mind games happens when we connect fear, or any human emotion, with depression. Remove fear from the equation, and all you have left to analyze is the depression.  Not giving depression an attachment to a human emotion makes it easier to remove it from our life experiences. 

Depression is not an emotion the human body benefits from.  Do not give depression an attachment to a natural emotion. Depression is not essential for human survival.


My grandmother was Cherokee, from the Great Smokey Mountains of Tennessee. Grandmother knew  the old ways of our people, and she told stories about how our relatives lived before colonization. No matter what the situation, her eyes sparkled when she communicated with family, and friends; even if the topic turned troublesome. Grandmother said, “There is a solution to every problem, and even death is not final.”

I gradually learned to see the world and others through sparkle, and began to look for the sparkle, in other peoples eyes. I realized later as an adult that the sparkle was love, that came from my grandmothers heart.  If the eyes are the window to the soul, the lack of sparkle in the eyes could be a sign of depression!  Even animals abused, abandoned, or caged have been documented as having the lack of sparkle in their eyes.


Perhaps that is the key to what depression is, it is not from the head, does not belong in the head were logical thinking abides, but comes from deep within the heart.  Our reality is created (our world) through our emotions of happiness, joyfulness, even our spiritual connection to life, our purpose, comes from the heart and some would say the soul. 

Grandmother stayed busy, she called it, until she became too old to garden, and cook for her family and friends. She once said, “I work hard all day until the sun goes down, then I sleep like a rock until the next morning light, when I am grateful to do it all over again.” 

She wanted family, and friends to imagine something, create something, grow something, love something, sleep like a rock, until morning light...grateful for the next day, and find out what puts sparkle in our eyes.  

Nancy is the CEO of the “Spiritual Life Style Wellness Center.”  She is a member of the Free Cherokee, and an adopted member of the United Lenape Band.  Nancy is currently involved in the study of psychology, and cultural anthropology.  Her first book is available on amazon.com The Return of Sophia, Mother of the Universe. Nancy is an ally for the “Third Gender” LGBT communities. When our hearts are filled with love and we embrace all sacred creation humanity will witness the shift to a higher consciousness, and arrive in the new world. You can contact her at:  nancy.oakes1@aol.com aboutme.com  www.lovetothelight.weebly.com


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