Have you ever wondered why some people are quick to anger and others are not? Two people can be in the same situation and one person is calm, while the other is frantic and out of control. For some people little things will set them off; like a bad driver, a delay in a grocery, their internet is down, a flat tire or someone says something they don't like. And, before you know it, they are snapping, lashing out insults, yelling bad language and sometimes violent. To an angry person people are mere objects to manipulate and control. Anger now becomes a twisted psychological weapon to rule others.
For someone to come out of anger they first need to realize that their anger is unhealthy. They must reach a point where they understand that their fiery rage is ugly and damaging. Anger is self-centered and the angry person is only concerned with their personal feelings and fails to consider the effects of their anger. If we could somehow truly feel and experience what others are feeling through our words and actions, we would, be more careful with our behavior. If we could actually experience the shock and trauma of being yelled at and insulted, then we would not want to yell or insult another. Even though we may not be able to feel what others are going through, we can at least consider what they may be experiencing, and this is a good start toward compassion and respect. In the rage of anger an angry person ignores empathy, and, sinks deep into self-pity without concern for anyone, including their own children, spouse or family members. In heated moments nothing matters to the angry person; it's all about me, me and me type of thinking.
When it comes to healing anger know that it is possible to heal. And, you must have the feeling of wanting to heal. Healing cannot happen without a desire to do so. A person does not have to be angry if they do not want to be. Anger simply represents the wounded and traumatized part of the heart. To begin the healing processes, spend regular time and look honestly and deeply into the ugliness of anger. And, understand that angry outbursts are unpleasant and toxic for everyone. Every outburst that occurs will open a series of negative consequences for everyone. It will terrify a child, someone will cry and people will get hurt. You cannot prevent this from happening. Love brings people together while anger breaks them apart. Love cannot come from anger any more than expecting happiness to come from a snake bite. There is nothing in anger to be proud or happy about; it ruins parties, it chases children away, relationships and marriages break up, health crumbles and it ruins reputations. A fuming person is inevitably left alone with their own misery because not many people will put up with their mad ways anymore.
An angry heart is not to be judged or criticized. Do not get mad at yourself for feeling angry. Instead, remind yourself it is not your higher nature and there are better ways to live. Anger represents an old consciousness; it is the past sticking around and preventing you from moving forward into a positive life. Anger is the wounded part of ourselves and it does not represent the fullness of who we are. And, by taking a deep and honest look at anger and its tragic consequences is an important step for change. Do not contemplate these things only after an outburst; this deep introspection should be done even when you are not angry and when things are running smooth. Constant self-study is fundamental for change. When you are feeling calm your inner wisdom will work with you far easier than when you are out of control. Say to yourself on a regular basis; I am ready to fill my heart with love and compassion. I am ready to release my anger and I give permission for healing to happen. By repeating these messages regularly your consciousness will start the healing process. If however, you insist on holding on to your angry ways, because it makes you feel powerful, then you are holding back the healing from happening. Healing work starts when you form new ideas of self and you are willing to think, be and do differently.
One method for healing the anger is to sit back, relax and close your eyes. Then, pretend in your mind that you pulled the anger out of yourself and threw it in front of you. What would you see? A person for example might say; my anger looks like is a thick black cloud. Whatever you imagine as the anger, your work now is to break down the anger. Punch holes into it, let it weaken, crumble or smash into pieces. Or, see the anger shrinking, thinning out or fading away like a morning fog burning up as the sun comes up. Or, like a block of ice melting in the hot sun. Let your imagination help you and allow the anger to lose power and fall away from your awareness. Form pictures in your mind of the anger losing its influence over you. Do this exercise as often as you can.
In addition to the visualization exercise repeat out loud as often as you can; I am ready to be a new person. I am love. I am peace. I respect myself and I respect others. As you repeat such affirmations on a regular basis your energy will start to change. At first you may not believe the affirmations, but keep saying it out loud to yourself; your physical body needs to hear and feel the vibration of the words. This will help your emotional system shift toward love, peace and self-respect. The believability will then increase and healing will happen faster.
Finally, see and think of yourself as a new person. Vision yourself feeling good and enjoying times of harmony and joy with loved ones, friends and coworkers etc. See yourself as the kind of person that is able let things go and laugh things off. Think of yourself as playful and joyous, and, as the kind of person that can handle many situations with confidence and ease. Visualize yourself and your life in happy ways, and feel it within, that you have changed for the better. You are a different person now and even others are noticing the change. You feel good about yourself and you want others to feel good as well. Imagine children, animals and people in general are drawn to your positive energy. And, as you vision this, as often as you can, then declare to yourself. This is who I am. I am calm, I am confident, I am peaceful, I am playful and I am love.
About the Author:
Bob Mangroo is a personal potential coach and spiritual teacher. His training and coaching work includes hypnosis, meditation and Neuro-Linguistic Programming(NLP). In addition, he has earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology at York University in Toronto, Canada. www.bobmangroo.com