Growing up for me happened fast. I had been helping my father care for my sister and take care of household duties like laundry, dishes, cleaning, and cooking. I was around 13 years old. I grew up fast and in addition to the duties I took on, I also had multiple health issues, even in my earliest years that seemed to be progressing is a downward trajectory, not to mention, I was naturally intuitive to boot. - Dreaming premonitions, sensing and feeling spirits and more – but no one believed me. In a way, thinking about it now, it was kind of a trifecta of stuff that combined in a horrible way that led me to feeling unworthy of good things, undeserving and lacking in self-love.

Now, being 33, I have more recently become focused on finding and growing the love I have for myself. More self-compassion means I am beating myself up internally a lot less than before. Having more love for myself also means I am expecting less perfection and letting myself breathe easier.

Through meditation, EMDR therapy, yoga, taking online courses and more, I am noticing that the heart center is so important. We have an ability to foster that energy, grow it and utilize it to heal our own mental/emotional, physical and energetic wounds. I am finally realizing that I do deserve things, though sometimes it is hard. I am also seeking perfection less and trying to be mindful of my inner chatter – making sure I am mindful if negative self-talk arises. All of this has helped improve my relationship with myself and I want to share some exercises and tools I have found helping in recent years. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself, your body, your spirit, etc. is the most important one. All other relationships will feed off of the one you have with yourself.

What are some ways I am coping and using to heal the relationship I have with myself?

Meditation: Using meditation and guided imagery that is meant for self-compassion, self-love, growing and improving self-confidence and also meditation that focuses on our heart center all qualify.

One meditation you can do is simply focus on your breath with mindful awareness. When you notice the mind wandering, bring awareness to your thoughts, acknowledge them, then go back to focusing on your breathing. Then place your hand on your heart and focus your attention there for a couple of minutes. What do you feel? Using the breath, breathe into the heart center with the intention of inhaling brings healing energy in, while exhaling releases what no longer serves your highest good.

A second meditation you can try is to chant “Om Mani Padme Hum”, a chant for compassion and is often connected to the goddess Kuan Yin (the goddess of compassion).

A third meditation you can do is look up UNH (University of New Hampshire) Loving Kindness Meditation on YouTube and follow the prompts.

Journaling I have found helps as well. I found a great exercise in the book “The Power of the Heart” that has us thinking about 3 things that happened that day that went well and why. If you can’t think of 3 things that went well that day, then journaling something you are grateful for that day works too. This kind of journaling gets you thinking differently about your day and it was likely better than you thought it was.

Mindful Awareness can help as well. Checking in with yourself is key. Being mindful will help you notice whether or not your thoughts and feelings are in-line with how you want them to be. If they are, great! If they aren’t, take a few minutes to focus on your breathing and be mindful of the thoughts. Start redirecting your thoughts to being more in-line with what you want.

Give yourself a break: I think this one is the most important. We can be our own worst critic, which only causes us more stress and inner turmoil. Relaxing into the thought and feeling that life isn’t perfect, we are not perfect, and the human body is not perfect gives us a sense of peace. Realize that things aren’t perfect, and they are ever changing, growing and transforming. Use this to motivate you to heal how you feel about yourself and cut yourself some slack. Your body and mind will thank you.

What methods and tools are you using to improve the relationship you have with yourself? Let me know.


Jessica Caracciolo is an international psychic medium in the greater Boston area of MA. She is a certified Reiki Master Teacher and helps people all around the world through readings, reiki, coaching, creativity and more for over 11 years. She can be reached at and on Instagram @CreativeYogiJC.

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