Tree pose seems easy enough.
Standing near the wall, I lift my leg up towards my inner thigh. I don't quite hit the right area and my foot falls somewhere near my knee. Lifting up trough my spine, I rotate my hip out in attempt to push my leg out. And then I waver.
My hand touches the wall briefly as I steady myself. Finding a spot in front of me, a smudge on the wall, I try again to regain balance. I let go of the wall, lifting up with my arms above my head. Except now I'm tipping again.
Striving for balance seems to be the theme of my life. As a working mother of three children, I feel as though I am forever running off to somewhere or to finish something. Life's twists and turns are always throwing me off, so I continually search for that focal point and breathe.
Sometimes meditation helps. I center myself and temporarily stop the inner chatter that runs wildly through my brain. Other times I immerse myself in an activity---writing, reading, the internet, or even painting a room. The escape gives me time to regroup.
Then there the days when the wavering becomes stumbling and I just completely fall. Lying there in a heap on the ground, and feeling like a failure I silently retreat from reality for a few moments. To pull myself up seems impossible.
Yet I do. I stand, and I lift my leg up and find that spot just above my knee, gently grazing the wall with my fingertips. For just one brief minute I raise my hands back over my head into tree pose. And breathe.
I am learning to balance.