The Importance Of Letting Go.
By Robin Coventry
There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. Choices and actions lead people in different directions; through those choices and actions, reality's created. Sometimes people choose or do something that takes them in the opposite direction of their desired results. Then negative emotions are attached to the experience like "I feel bad," or perhaps they feel uneasy, unhappy, unsure, angry, or even guilty. They might go so far as to label themselves "a failure" when a situation arises. By showing self-love they could acknowledge a choice that led away from their goal; accepting the lesson learned, steps can then be taken to prepare for a new opportunity to choose and act wisely in a way that supports their best intentions.
Many people experienced childhoods where the words good and bad were used as weapons of control. The label of being good was attached to them if they did what was expected and labeled bad if they became creative and did it their way. This kind of discipline undermines a person's ability to find their moral center to trust and be guided by their inner self. It doesn't help to fault anyone who casts a wrong label onto a child. Perhaps they learned the same thing from their parents or caregivers. Those same people may find themselves feeling shockwaves of shame or guilt if they do something to violate their upbringing or early programming. Or they may disagree with their childhood discipline and no longer view it as wrong.
Conversely, an individual may feel good doing something they learned was right. Early childhood programming puts individuals in a straitjacket, as an adult, they become unable to expand out on their own guiltlessly. An essential part of spiritual unfolding requires growing beyond what was learned, taking full responsibility for their liberation and actions on their terms. Early programming runs deep in a person's energetic field of emotions.
Everybody has a right to be here, learning, experiencing and exploring. People who label themselves or people good or bad cast judgments or negative energy into their energetic field. Each person is a decision-maker, a creator of life's experiences. Every moment provides opportunities to move in the highest and best direction with actions and positive responses or on the course of stagnation or degradation. Knowing the difference by becoming aware of self-judgments, analyzing and stopping the thought process brings them back to center. People are not good or bad; they are uniquely themselves.
Living in a dualistic system of thinking and living, makes each person on the planet a judge not only of their life but also of people they know and don't know. Humanity is programmed to think this way. People are bombarded with daily judgments deciding who is "right" or "wrong, "good," or "bad." Watching negativity over the television whether movie or news creates a desensitized society that looks for the negative in everything.
Words are powerful. When negative words or thoughts are cast upon a person, they are bombarded with negative energy, but so is the sender. Negativity and hate cannot be put out without it returning to the sender nor can love. People holding space for anger in their energetic field send it out into the universe and it comes back to them. It's like holding onto a double dose of negative energy, which was not the initial intent.
A friend recently told me that she was not going to forgive someone for three months; it had already been months. No kidding, she intended to hold onto her anger and madness for an additional three months. I actually gave a little laugh, asking, 'why three months?' I mentioned to the friend I felt it odd that she needed to make herself feel anger, resentment and betrayal towards the person or group of people for an allotted time.
Embracing that kind of negative energy, or stuff can build up over time when you add layer upon layer and can lead to dis—ease in the body.
She said she was not ready to give it up. Even with the knowledge, she was doing little harm to them and more to herself, she refused to let it go. I mentioned that I was not judging her, but wanted her to know what she was doing to her body's energetic field. Also, I want her around a long time, so we could lift our glasses together when we were in our nineties. (Ha, guess that could be viewed as reading or even drinking glasses.)
People do not realize holding onto anger, resentment, hostility, or hatred towards another person binds the person to their energy creating a link or strong bond. Imagine that, the very person or group, a person, wants to avoid is now tied to them energetically until they release the negative emotions and feelings by letting it go. It is giving them their power. The lack of forgiveness is a form of judging and reveals a lack of self-love. What you send out in the form of negative energy will make it's way back to you for refinement. When it energetically returns, it is negatively stronger.
Why do people do that and hold grudges? Perhaps it is a badge of honor or a blanket of delusional self-protection. Either way, it is harmful to physical bodies. In the case of the friend, how did it serve her to hold on? It kept her from facing emotions of inadequacy or betrayal she was not ready to face. Evolving spiritually means letting go. Holding a grudge or holding on, is like putting up your hand to the Universe and saying, "I want to evolve but not yet."
As evolving spiritual beings, the objective is to learn from and release or clear life's baggage. If individuals choose to hold onto that stuff, they must know they are not evolving as well as they may think.
This is not about becoming buddy-buddy with a problematic person; incorporating them into life may not be an option. That is Ok; it is acceptable to remove people from your life that deliberately agitate or anger you or those you agitate or anger. If you anger them, it is their stuff to work on unless you are attempting to provoke, then both of you should do some inner reflection on why you upset each other. Sometimes it has nothing to do with this lifetime.
Cutting someone loose should be done with love and compassion to avoid increasing your body's negative energetic debris. Letting go is a skill we can all develop. We are all here to learn to be our most authentic self beyond what our mortal senses perceive.
Robin Coventry is the Author of A to Z Virtuous Downloads and a spiritual teacher. She has an MBA in Healthcare Administration, an MBA in Marketing Management, a BS in Behavioral Science and a Certificate of Science in Theta Healing. She is a Reiki Master and is trained in Homeopathy and Herbal healing. Robin gives daily downloads @Coatiplus or Coati+ Robin Coventry on facebook.