We have a bad habit of trying to micromanage all aspects of our everyday life. With this constant battle comes serious undue stress and imbalance. Somewhere in our ego mind we feel that if we just exert our control over all the minor details that some how this will bring us a sense of peace and security. The truth is we do need prudence and active participation, but how can we move more through life as a human being rather than a human doing?
Surrender is not the same as being weak. In battle the person surrendering is seen as the loser, but in life, surrender is not about losing or winning. It is about being okay with what is. Though we have some aspect of control in our everyday lives there are many things that are outside of our influence. The more we grip tightly to those details, the more suffering we endure. Surrendering is about removing resistance from the equation. Energetically speaking, it is a state of equilibrium. Energy is not being leaked, drained, or invested poorly. It is a state of being where you move through life with grace, ease and without expectation.
Being in the Moment
There is a fine line between balance, planning and prudence. This is a struggle for many of us in our multi-tasking world. How do we take the necessary steps, make the important plans and still be able to live in the movement? The truth is, they are not mutually exclusive ideas. Planning for a future event does not mean you are unable to live in the moment. What is contained in that moment is where the distinction lies. Being present doesn’t mean that you cannot plan for a bright future or make arrangements for that trip you always wanted to take, however while you are in the moment of planning that task is to be your focus. Once the task is complete you don’t worry about the outcome or obsess about how each hour is going to be spent in the future. The key is where is your energy is invested. To do this, the quality of your focus is maintained in the present and not on the outcome of a future event. Surrender is really just a state of non-attachment.
Recognizing Emotional Attachment
It can be hard sometimes to discern the difference between the wants of the ego and the heart. The distinction again, is on our focus. The heart yearns for the process; the growth and maturation that is born from the experience. The ego is obsessed with outcomes and recognition. If you continue to have further trouble discerning between the mind and the ego, follow the feelings. Feelings in and of themselves are just impulses of energy. We like to internalize and identify with our emotions, but that is to our detriment. We should use our emotions as signals as to what is going on. They allow depth to an experience, they provide information as to what is floating around in our subconscious, but they are not part of us. Until we take that impulse of energy and interpret it, it is still just energy. Allowing us to get attached to our emotions can lead down a road of deep suffering. Ask yourself, what is the difference between, “I am angry”, or “this is anger”. When we learn to use our emotions are signposts rather than identifying with them, there is a whole new world of freedom. The act of surrender cannot occur from a place of attachment.
Letting In and Letting Go
All things are impermanent; events, relationships and even emotions. However the goal is not to ride things out until they pass. Without permitting the experience the lesson will continue to show up over and over again. We need to learn to sit with our own stuff. As a society we are uncomfortable being uncomfortable. This isn’t to say we get attached to the experience, but rather allow it. We are always looking for ways to treat the symptoms rather than look at the dis-ease. Not just in healthcare, but in many aspects of our lives. Surrender can never happen from the periphery. You cannot observe and experience from the sideline. You need to sit in the middle of your junk, allow it, learn from it and be with it until it dissipates. There cannot ever be a release without surrender.
Kimberly Truitt, a healer and intuitive coach, says that self-trust is an integral part of your personal integrity. Being able to trust yourself is necessary for your ability to surrender. We eat away at our trust every time we make a commitment to ourselves and break it. Every time we say we are going to do something and don’t. Consequently, we create an air of fear and anxiety around our abilities. Self-efficacy, or the amount of faith that we have in our ability to complete or succeed at a task, it intimately related to self-trust. This is also eroded by our inability to fulfill our commitments to others and ourselves.
When our faith in our abilities gets diminished we move further away from being able to listen to ourselves. As soon as we bring in self-doubt, fear or resistance we inhibit our ability to hear our intuition. The wee inner voice that contains infinite wisdom. Surrender is a state ripe for wisdom. If your level of self-trust is depleted, begin small and find ways to boost your faith. Build on small successes. Again, not a success deemed on outcome, but a success built on process and development. Start to listen to your intuition more. Build a trusting relationship with yourself once again. Once in a place of trust, surrender comes much more easily.
Lift the Paddles
We spend so much time and energy trying to go against the current. This creates resistance in all aspects of our life. A body with dis-ease is a body in resistance. A person who has no faith in what they are capable of, is a mind in resistance. Remember, surrendering is not giving up or giving in, it is letting in and letting go. Instead of fighting the current, isn’t it about time to lift the paddles?
Angela Levesque is health educator, writer, exercise physiologist and energy healer. She hosts 2 weekly online radio shows on a2zen.fm. Angela teaches several classes on self-care, meditation & weight loss. Visit www.hestiahealth.com for more information. Follow on https://twitter.com/HestiaHealth and http://www.facebook.com/hestiahealth.