The Most Important Relationship

As we walk along the path of our lives we experience many relationships. These include relationships with our parents, siblings, spouse/partner, children, friends, co-workers, teachers, and “God”. Each provides an opportunity to grow and experience meaning as well as pain and suffering. But which is the most important? From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You the answer isn’t on that list. It’s the relationship you have with yourself. Many of you probably saw that coming, but we have encountered many people who spend their lives often “suffering” while trying to please others, receive acceptance and approval from others which never comes, prove something to others which doesn’t need to be proved, or trying to become someone they think others want them to be, within a journey that never ends. Many can be found within the “Roles People Live” page on our website.

Our answer is based on the belief that the relationship with ourselves is the relationship upon which all of the others are built, for better or worse. It shapes healthy or unhealthy thoughts, behaviors, and feelings we bring to others in these relationships. Some may say the relationship with God is even more important. Our response is that the ego energy we are impacts our ability to be the manifestation of the Love, Life, and Energy God Is, within every relationship, including the one we perceive as existing with God. When our ego energy is imbalanced within its power, flexibility, or vulnerability, the seeds for distortion, disturbance, and destruction in all relationships have been sown. No better example can be found than the person who professes love for God, yet lives anger and destructiveness toward those who do not comply with their likeness, religiously, racially, politically, sexually, and so on.

Many realize the relationship with themselves is the most important relationship but don’t know how to go about developing that relationship in order to become the best version of themselves which can be lived within all of the other relationships. From the perspective of Ego, Spirit & You the solution involves getting to know your ego energy and working to bring it into balance with ego medicine. It is with ego medicine that we develop more precise ego awareness and use reality based thinking to remove distortions that often weaken the relationship with ourselves and others. As we work with it the voice of Spirit becomes louder and we begin to “hear” it telling us we are the Love, Life, and Energy God Is within human form. We also grow in our ability to recognize the Great Gifts of Life, Creating Life, Eternal Life, and God Within which all have received.

So how is your relationship with yourself?


Relationships have a tremendous impact upon our lives. Be they with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and even God. The nature of these relationships has been shown to affect the quality of our lives, the happiness we can experience, and our emotional maturity. But which is the most important?—the answer may surprise you.

Dr. Nickolas Martin is a licensed psychologist who has worked in clinical, university, public school and private practice settings as a therapist, diagnostician, educator and consultant for 35 years. He authored “Ego Therapy: A Method for Healing Your Whole Self” and co-authored with Rev. Linda M. Martin, “EgoSpiritualism: Awakening to Your Human and Divine Self” and “The Two Voices Within: Balancing the Energies of Ego and Spirit to Enhance Your Life.”

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Comment by Kathy Custren on May 11, 2017 at 10:32am

Thank you very much, Nickolas - this is being forwarded to the publishers for use in a future edition, with our thanks. One word though, is to make sure the article body itself has at least the 500 word count, which is our minimum. Thank you ~ Blessings! 

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