What is self-compassion? The dictionary says this: Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. "The victims should be treated with compassion".
So why is it that we can feel other's pain and sympathize, but when it comes to ourselves we see only hatred, disgust, disappointment, or just not the person we thought we would become? Do not compare yourself to others, because we all have different phycological makeup and we all react to situations differently. That is why someone can lose a limb and seem to be okay, or they have overcome it and appear to be mentally healthy and accepting. Maybe so, maybe not. It does not matter. Shame is what drives these feelings in most of us. Remember, whatever happened is the past. We have to make amends for these actions and then we have to learn to let them go.
We need to keep the focus on us and not compare ourselves to others. Remember, yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not yet been promised. Focus on today and what changes can and need to be made for us to become the person we want to be. Everything we do today will be our tomorrow.
Try and not to let the past define you. Just like the body produces new cells and new skin, we need to shed our past so we can be the best version of ourselves today and in the future.
"Emotions are a form of energy in motion. They signal us of a loss, a threat or a situation. Sadness is about losing something we cherish. Anger and fear are signal of actual or impending threats to our well-being. Joy signals that we are fulfilled and satisfied. Whenever a child is shamed through some form of abandonment, feelings of anger, hurt and sadness arise. Since shame-based parents are shame bound in all their emotions, they cannot tolerate their children’s emotions. Therefore, they shame their children’s emotions. When their emotions are shamed, children numb out, so they don’t feel their emotions.”
John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds you.
Start here at my page Free E-book downloads, and find John Bradshaw's book. There is also other good information there. Go to YouTube and find a meditation on self-worth.
Give Love to your inner child. Give yourself a break by knowing how much people count on you and need you in their lives. Every time you feel down say a positive mantra to yourself. Know that you are worthy of love and friendship and act accordingly. If you have to fake it till you make it.
Blessings to you on your journey and know you are special and deserving of Love